So this is Christmas...

Well! I thought I should get at least one more blog post in before the new year. I know I've been slacking, but I have a perfectly good excuse for not blogging that I may or may not share at some point. But it was a conscious decision that I do not regret. And also a long story.

We're in Louisiana for the holidays and this past week has been draining to say the least. My body is rebelling against all of the travel and unhealthy foods. Acid reflux? Check! Swelling? Check! (Wedding rings no longer on!) Insane tiredness? Check! I'm also cranky and lo, am not in the mood for comments on my physical appearance. One of the first things my dad said to me was, 'Well Cora, you look.......pregnant." THANKS DAD. I HAD NO IDEA. Usually he tells me that I look good. But instead he had to leave a huge, giant pause and then say "pregnant" like it was a euphemism for "fat." My aunt also seemed shocked at how big I am for not being "that far along." Lovely. I reminded her that today started the third trimester so I was allowed to have a pregnant belly.

Also? My iPhone broke two days before Christmas. We finally made it to an Apple store today where they promptly replaced it after a failed attempt at restoring it. (Alex and I had already tried to restore it and no luck. But the Genius Bar guy was like, 'That's just because you were using a PC.' Like it was a dirty word or something. So when it didn't work, we both felt very smug and wore our "I told you so" faces very well.) I'm thrilled to finally have my phone back. I was relying on Alex and my mom for my communication needs and I felt so helpless.

We got to visit my uncle's camp in Delacroix Island yesterday and go out on his boat. It was excellent to get out on the water at the end of December. Plus, it was a perfect, beautiful day and a nice break. We took lots of pictures of the water and the pelicans and the houses 17 feet above the ground. The destruction from Katrina is still very apparent and it was so sad to see so much debris everywhere. But people keep rebuilding. It was an excellent picture of perseverance.

Right now, Alex is looking up ideas for things to do in New Orleans tomorrow, as we plan to spend the day touring the city and generally enjoying each others company before we become a family of three. I'm looking forward to it. This trip has only reinforced my love for him and my joy that he is the father of my child. He's going to be an amazing father and I can't wait raise our son with him.

Google might actually be stalking me

So I don't read any blogs about Barbados or generally talk about Barbados or even know where Barbados is on a map. But I know A LOT about Barbados because I interviewed my sister-in-law's boyfriend who is from Barbados. And I have spent an enormous amount of time working on a paper and presentation about him and Barbados. So Barbados. It's on my mind. And then tonight, Google Reader suggests that I read a blog called Barbados Free Press. A blog dedicated to BARBADOS. A place in which I have never been and have never mentioned to Google. BUT IT KNOWS I WANT TO READ ABOUT BARBADOS. I read zero blogs that mention Barbados. Does Google Reader read my e-mail? Check my voicemails? Scan my texts? Because how do they know about the Barbados thing? First they put my house on the internet and now they know I'm immersed in Bajan culture. Something is UP, y'all.

BARBADOS!

Oy Vey

Who knew having my 6o-year-old parents in town would exhaust me to the point that I am a cranky jerk all the time?

So, here's my question. Why did Ohio get these dumb stickers?


I like the sleek "I Voted" oval stickers that other bloggers are sporting much better.

I mean, it still got me my free doughnut, but I am not a fan of it. Sadly, I was nowhere near a Ben and Jerry's and I have banned Starbucks from my diet during pregnancy, so no other free stuff for me today.

Voting was pretty painless. We made the right decision by not waiting around for hours on Sunday. We were at our polling location for less than an hour this morning. Nothing exciting happened at all. Except that I cried the entire way from the polling place to Krispy Kreme. I am a tad bit emotional right now.

************************

As for the OTHER big news of the day, we had our ultrasound. Unfortunately, my parents are sleeping in the same room as the scanner right now, so I can't show you pictures. But the baby is healthy and right on target for his growth. The doctor told us everything looked perfect and that the baby is measuring exactly to my due date. So we are still a go for March 29th.

As for that other announcement...

It's a boy.

Yay?

***********************

Ok, while I was writing this, NBC and CNN just announced that Obama won. Whether you agree with his politics or not, I must say I am pumped that I was able to witness the election of the first African American president.

Am Tired. Can't Post.

I took my parents to the Air Force Museum today and we only made it through one of the buildings. For those of you who have never been, there are THREE buildings involved. We were there for almost THREE HOURS and only made it through ONE BUILDING. My dad wanted to read every single thing available. And that is A LOT OF READING. So I sat down every opportunity I got and we didn't even make it past WWII. I am exhausted from all the planes and memorabilia and walking. It was just too much for this sickly pregnant lady to handle.

In other FANTASTIC news, our upstairs bathroom (which is OUR bathroom) has decided to go kablooey. Neither the sink nor the bathtub will drain. Of course, this happens the second my parents show up. So now we have to barge through their bedroom to get to their bathroom to do basic things like wash our hands and brush our teeth. HOORAY! That is exactly what our bank account needs right now!

(Frankly, all this post is is filler for tomorrow's big reveal. I am pretty excited to finally see the baby. I think it might be real, y'all!)

But before we can take care of that, Alex and I have to go vote. We tried to vote early on Sunday, but we got there fifteen minutes after the place opened and there were already over 1,000 people there. And that is not my patented exaggeration. There were 1,000 people waiting to vote. Which is incredibly exciting, yet also extremely annoying when you have to wait for all 1,000 people to vote. So we decided to just wait and try our luck on the big day. We're planning on getting up early and going over to vote. Then we'll come back and wake up my parents so I can go shower in the guest bathroom. GAH!

They're Heeere

Alex and I spent ALL DAY preparing the house for my parents' arrival. And the politics worry? Worse than I thought. I am really, really dreading Tuesday night. Maybe I can leave? For...forever?

On the plus side, I got my couches! I didn't take pictures because I was too busy cleaning and then laying around feeling exhausted from the cleaning. But they are here! And I will take pictures. For reals, y'all.

Day 1....Barely

Good heavens, I nearly missed NaBloPoMo this year. I have no idea if I'll actually be able to do it this year, but I just spent an hour reading blogs and felt really guilty about how much mine sucks and decided to just jump in and do it. Besides, last year I won a prize!

Hopefully I will have pictures of my new couch tomorrow. Hopefully. If not, Alex might go missing.

I may or may not be nesting.

Also? Can we just talk about how TIRED I am of cleaning? GAH. I was trying to organize the shelves in our office because that is also going to serve as our guest bedroom and since we are having guests, oh, you know, TOMORROW, it was high time we got the room in some decent order. And after hours of cleaning today, I finally just lost it. I could not organize anything else. Not a single thing. It was like my brain short circuited. And all I could think was, "NO MORE. NOOOO MOOOORREEE." So I turned to Alex and asked him if he'd just throw the whole box of crap in the closet and call it a day. He did. The room looks much nicer and no one has to know I didn't organize a box of crap from our wedding that was over a year ago. It's just our little secret, internet. So keep that to yourself, would you?

Embarassment

One day you'll get married. And then you'll get pregnant. And then your house will kind of deteriorate. But it will be okay because your mother-in-law will graciously come to your house to help.

Except that there are some items in your house that are for married couples only. Items that were given to you on your bachelorette party. Such as a book. With, ahem, explicit material. So it's not something you really want someone to see. Particularly someone such as your mother-in-law.

But your husband assures you that he found said book in time and hid it. No worries!

So later that day when your mother-in-law is folding your laundry, she looks down and sees a book! She thinks it's an almanac! So she picks it up! And starts to read it! And you realize that when your husband said "hide" he meant "left it RIGHT WHERE SHE CAN FIND IT."

And then you die.

Woops

As I mentioned in my last post, we are having our big mid point ultrasound on November 4th. I thought this was brilliant because I didn't have school or class on that day and it was only two weeks away. My parents had mentioned wanting to come up for the big event, but I assumed they wouldn't be able to with only two weeks notice. Which was a shame, but I wasn't overly upset about it. After all, Alex and I haven't even seen the baby yet. So I was okay with just the two of us (and the ultrasound tech) getting the first glimpse of our offspring. Plus, I assumed my parents were all talk. I moved up here in 2002. Six, VERY LONG years ago. My parents did not come visit me until 2007. (And that was because I was getting married.) That's right, it took them five years to even bother entering the same state I resided in. In fact, 2007 marked my father's very first visit to the STATE OF OHIO despite the fact that his only child had moved there in 2002. So yeah, when we scheduled the ultrasound, I assumed that a mere two weeks notice would not be enough to get them back up here. After all, the first trip took FIVE YEARS for them to make.

You know where this is going right? I've set it up enough, haven't I?

HOLY CRAP, MY PARENTS ARE COMING BACK. And with less than two weeks notice. I was so shocked when my dad told me that all I could say was, 'Oh?' I told Alex and I thought his eyes might pop out of his head. Because my parents? Coming up here? Only a year and two months after their last visit?

This is not the issue. The REAL issue is the date of the ultrasound. November 4th. Remember, I scheduled this when I assumed my parents could not come. Now my parents are coming. ON ELECTION DAY.

My parents are Republicans. I mean RE.PUB.LI.CANS. During the last election, my mom actually asked me if I voted for the "right" candidate. Fortunately, she never specified WHO the "right" candidate was, so I was able to answer "yes" without hesitation. They love W. They hate Clinton. I remember watching the election night results when Clinton won his second term and my dad was disgusted, DISGUSTED, that Bob Dole was losing. BOB DOLE, YOU GUYS. That's how conservative my family is.

And while I may have grown up in a super conservative family, I did not marry into one. I married into a currently pro-Democratic family. A family who campaigns for Obama. A family who has signs for Obama in their front yard.

IN MY FRONT YARD.

WHICH MY PARENTS WILL SEE.

BECAUSE THEY ARE COMING UP ON ELECTION DAY.

SHIT.

Decision '08 or '09

You know what's difficult? Studying for an open book test. Especially when I'd rather do ANYTHING but school work. Plus, I feel stupid going over the material because I'll think, "Oh, I should memorize that. Wait. I don't have to!" So I'm having trouble finding a happy medium for this test. At least it'll be over in a few hours.

In other news, we had our monthly OB appointment last night. I'm a big fat porker, in case you were wondering. They also took MORE BLOOD for genetic testing and we heard the heartbeat, which has slowed down. We're down to the 140's, which terrifies me because I feel as though that confirms it's a boy. And clearly I love boys, but birthing a boy means that we'll have to actually NAME said boy and if there is one thing in this universe that Alex and I DO NOT AGREE ON is boy names. Yeesh. I spent part of yesterday morning looking up boy names in a frantic attempt to get the negotiations re-opened in Baby Needs A Name '09. Because I am suddenly, unequivocally convinced it's a boy. And then yesterday evening's appointment only added to my suspicions. (And I know we have time, but I am obsessive.)

But! The good news is we won't have to wait too much longer to find out if it is indeed a boy or a girl because we finally (FI.NAL.LY.) scheduled an ultrasound! So November 4th is not just Election Day, but also See Our Baby Day. I am very pleased that it is a mere two weeks away because I have been holding off on looking at nursery decoration ideas until we found out the sex. Plus, I don't know why, but I just feel like I'm still somehow being tricked. As if the baby is not real. And I am thinking that once I actually see the baby, then I will actually believe that a real, live baby is the end result of this whole process. We have yet to purchase a single baby item because I just...don't believe it. Like this is the world's most elaborate Punk'd. (In addition to being obsessive, I am also crazy.)

So mark your calendars! November 4th we get to decide on a new president and we get to see the Sandpalace baby. It'll be a day for the ages.

Weddings are ALWAYS awkard for me

Alex and I have gone to two weddings in the last two weeks. They were both lovely, but very different. However, they had one thing in common. The first time I spoke to the brides the first words out of their mouths were, "Congratulations!" Which is incredibly kind because I am supposed to be congratulating them on their big day. But before I could even get the words out of my mouth, they both congratulated me immediately. It was an incredibly odd feeling because hello! Backwards! But also terribly nice as well. But then awkward because I am unable to handle myself well in social situations so I was like, 'Hrm, no! Congratulations to YOU!'

Furminate Me

So. We have two dogs. And one is very, very, very hairy. I would love to post pictures of him and his hair, but that would mean I'd have to have pictures on this computer, which I don't. But trust me when I say that Murphy is very hairy. Super hairy. Extremely hairy. The hairiest dog I have ever met in my entire life. And he sheds this hair daily. Perhaps hourly. It is probably the most difficult thing I had to adjust to when I moved in with Alex. There is ALWAYS dog hair SOMEWHERE. I feel like I can't keep the floor clean. Or the couch. Or any other surface that Murphy goes near. We could have created ten Murph's by now if we had been collecting his hair. I have daydreamed, like yes, literally DAYDREAMED about removing all of his hair. I've tried to convince Alex to get him shaved. I bought a brush and attempted to brush his unruly mane into something manageable. We tried vacuuming him. Nothing worked.

And then! Then! Dooce talked about the Furminator and I immediately sent the link to Alex. But it was kind of pricey and we weren't positive it would work. Murphy's hair seemed like it would always be a part of our lives. Until I got pregnant and began making threats of sending Murphy off to a farm to live if we didn't figure out some way to control his CONSTANT SHEDDING THAT WILL GET ON THE BABY, OH MY GOD OUR BABY CANNOT LIVE IN A HOUSE THAT IS INFESTED WITH MURPHY HAIR. Alex slowly began to realize that his wife was insane and if spending some money on a de-shedding tool would help lower the crazy, then it was well worth. Plus! Slickdeals said it was sale at Amazon!

So yesterday our Furminator came in. Alex bathed Murphy because he is amazing while I sat on the couch and wished I was no longer pregnant (because I am PUKING AGAIN. PUKING. I am 16 weeks pregnant! There should no longer be any puking!) because he is awesome like that. I may or may not have chanted "Furminate! Furminate!" over and over again while Murphy dried off. And then it was time to begin the magic.

And y'all, I should have taken pictures.

This thing is AMAZING. A-MAAAAAZ-ING. I have never seen anything take that much hair off a dog at one time. I would have taken pictures except I thought it was a little gross, so I opted to just throw the hair away instead. But believe me when I say that it was the most satisfying experience of possibly my entire life. I am going to write the creators of the Furminator a love note and seal it with a kiss because my life is so much better now. I also used it on our 8 pound, short haired dog who also does her fair share of shedding herself and was again, AMAZED at how much of her undercoat came off. I kept brushing her and yelling, "Look! Look at this! It's amazing!"

So if you have pets who shed, I HIGHLY recommend investing in a Furminator. It might seem pricey for a "brush," but it is worth it. We should have gotten the large version, because the medium one seemed a little small for Murphy. They also make them for cats too, and if we had a cat, I can guarantee there'd be another Furminator in the mail and headed towards our house this very second.

Although I must say Murphy did not enjoy the experience. Which is bad for him because I cannot WAIT to attack him with it again next week. All the while maniacally laughing.

Officially Tagged

Jodi tagged me in a meme (how do you say that word!?) in which I am to tell you seven random things about myself. This should be pretty easy as I am a random person, but I am feeling pressure to not only be random, but "unique" and "fun" too.

1. I will listen obsessively to Heart's "Alone" and Journey's "Don't Stop Believing." Those songs get stuck on repeat in my head. Often.

2. I have terrible bags under my eyes and I have no idea how to get rid of them. But they bug me. Every morning and I look at my face and think, "Why does the skin under my eyes have to be a different color from the rest of my entire face?"

3. I can't stand for my nails to get too long. I freak out and rip them off. Incidentally, I always have ugly nails.

4. I want a girl. There, I said it. I have tried to be open minded, but I really hope we have a baby girl in March. I'm not sure why because girls will only lead to heartache as she and I will THROW DOWN about clothes...and boys...and curfew once she reaches her teenage years, but still, I can't help it. I think it's because my mom and I got along really well and I like our bond and I hope to be that to my daughter some day. (Awwww! Sap!)

5. I hate Chipotle.

6. I am constantly reconsidering new careers. Even though I am going into massive debt for a new career as we speak, I still look for other jobs and day dream about how much fun they might be. Even though I know I'll probably always hate my job no matter what, it's still fun to imagine it.

7. I *heart* Kenneth the Page on 30 Rock. I don't know why. The hair? The accent? The naivete? Whatever it is, his scenes are almost always my favorite on the show.

I'm supposed to tag 7 people, but let's get real here. I generally have a one sided relationship with blogs. I have a VAST number of blogs that I check daily and even though some of them are of people I vaguely knew in college, I doubt they read mine. So I'll pass on tagging others. Although this probably means I'm going to have bad luck for the next seven years or something now.

9/22/08

One year ago today, Alex and I committed our lives to each other in the shortest, most romantic ceremony I have ever cried at. I have no idea if it was actually short or romantic, but in my mind it was, plus, I CRIED like, THE WHOLE TIME. So I had no idea what was going on for most of it because I kept thinking, "Why am I CRYING so much? Pull it together woman!" I didn't talk a lot about our wedding on here because...well...I had some issues with it. But the most important thing is that we got married. I couldn't be happier and I certainly couldn't ask for a better partner in life. Sometimes I feel like I might be dreaming because we are just so good together. I wake up some mornings and just can't believe I married such a handsome, charming, loving man. He listens to me. He takes care of me. He makes me laugh. And this past year was hard. Not for us as a couple. We didn't struggle with typical newlywed problems. Instead, we both had family crises ranging from my father's spine surgery to his father's death. But we made it through together. I can't imagine going through life's difficulties and joys with anyone else.

Unfortunately, we did nothing to celebrate because I have been so sick. I started off the weekend puking and never really recovered. Nothing sounded fun unless it involved laying down in bed. The thought of dinner at a restaurant made my stomach turn. Which kind of left us up a creek as far as romantic plans go. So instead we watched a lot of football this weekend and went to work today as usual. And to top it all off, we had a doctor's appointment. YES! Nothing says "Happy Anniversary" quite like peeing in a cup and getting weighed in public.

But this visit was different because we (finally) were able to hear the heartbeat. It didn't take the doctor very long to find it, but I was still nervous as she moved the doppler around. And suddenly there it was. The sheer joy on Alex's face when he heard the woosh woosh woosh of the heartbeat was unbelievable. He looked so happy and so proud and then immediately whipped out his phone so he could record it, just like a true geek. It was the best anniversary present he could have ever given me. He looked at me with the same, perfect face of love that he did on our wedding.

He adores me. He adores our unborn child. I can't wait to celebrate many more anniversaries with him.

Mr. Clean

Well, that was fun. Sunday afternoon we lost power, along with another 180,000 people in our city. We were lucky and got ours back Monday afternoon. So we went only about 24 hours in the dark. My brother and sister-in-law are still without power. Since SUNDAY. Which is insane. It was so weird because it's not like there was a big storm. It was just a lot of wind. No rain. No lightning. Just wind, wind, wind.

But! Lack of power is an EXCELLENT excuse for not blogging! Certainly better than my usual "I'm siiiiiiiiick" excuse. Which...holy cow, am I ever sick. I have a sinus infection/allergic reaction/cold thing going on that has completely knocked me off my feet. I had a spectacular breakdown of epic proportions last night and I may or may not have scared the crap out of Alex with my wailing.

I am also just a teensy bit emotional.

So here's the thing. Alex has many, many qualities that are amazing and wonderful, but being a good cleaner is not one of them. His brand of cleaning involves wiping down a counter with water only and going, "Eh, good enough." And I know this about him. I went into this marriage fully understanding that he can't (or won't) clean. The first time I ever came over to his house (now our house), he proudly announced he had cleaned. And I saw all of this...stuff...everywhere and right then, I knew. This man is not a cleaning man. Which is FINE. He is a cooking and a laundry man, so really, it's not like I got the shaft here.

Except that now I can't clean. I've been sick for almost two months now. (Two months! BabyCenter said I should be feeling fine and regaining my appetite now. Suck it BabyCenter!) Which means I don't do anything. I lay in bed. I eat. I cry. I sleep. Everyday. Notice how "I clean." wasn't listed among those statement. Gagfest 2008 has prevented me from cleaning, much less CARING about cleaning. So that has left the bulk of the housework duties to poor, poor Alex. Which means the house is, in a word, disgusting. I'm not knocking Alex. Please understand me. He is doing a phenomenal job of taking care of me and the dogs and the house and the HUGE TREE that fell in our backyard (which...we have amazing friends who came over last night and helped move all that crap while our neighbor, WHO IS THE OWNER OF THE TREE, just sat and watched) and working full time and shuttling me around to various classes and appointments. He is AMAZING. He is also busy. He also hates cleaning. Cleaning has gone out of the window.

And that is the point of this post. Our house is gross. I could have just written that and saved you all a lot of time and energy. But instead you read the word "clean" a lot and realized that our house is not. There is crap everywhere. It smells. I am appalled by it, yet not motivated enough to do anything other than gag and run back upstairs.

Last night during Super Meltdown #37 of 2008, I was so miserable and all I wanted was my mom. And finally Alex asked, "If your mom came would she, like, clean the house?" And when I said, "Yes," I am SHOCKED that he did not immediately pick up the phone and call her. Maybe he waited until I fell asleep. But I won't be surprised if one of our moms shows up this weekend to help their poor, decrepit children clean their house. We need our mommies and we are about to be a mommy and daddy ourselves. Holy COW are we not prepared.

ThisClose

Barack Obama was at my school today. Barack Obama! Presidential hopeful! Barack Obama! And I was completely and totally unaware of this. I didn't figure it out until all of the teachers had their TV's turned to a public access channel and I saw the little podium with the "Change We Need" poster. And then it slowly dawned on me that the big hullabaloo that I saw this morning when I arrived was because Barack Obama was actually in the building. The building I was in. Which suddenly made all of the cops in the hallway make more sense. Sadly, I didn't get to see him in person. But I was so close. SO CLOSE!

So...yeah

I just wrote an entire post and chickened out of publishing it. The gist of it: am miserable, feel sad. But I feel guilty for complaining about pregnancy and I can't bring myself to put those thoughts on the internet.

Uh, what else is going on? Nothing (see above: miserable).

Alex and I watched the entire Firefly series this weekend. And then I convinced him to purchase the movie, "Serenity," last night and we stayed up late to finish it. I'm a pretty big Joss Whedon fan and am happy to have converted Alex to the Whedonverse as well. (Except that I finally got around to watching Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along-Blog and didn't like it. Woops. Guess I'm not as devoted as I thought.)

In other news, two of my dear friends from college (Hi Jenny! Hi Mel!) announced their pregnancies this past week! I am excited that we are all pregnant together and our children will be the same age. This will be super convenient for our yearly get togethers (we live far, far away from each other) as we can then share war stories of toddler tantrums and projectile bodily fluids. It's funny because I met these girls ten years ago when we began our freshman year of college. And now four of us (Bell is due...SOON) are pregnant at the same time. I'm not sure we could have planned it better.

New this week on the weirdo pregnancy symptoms list: water makes me vomit. Yes. Water - life-giving, hydrating, absolutely needed to survive, water is responsible for dry heaving and much weeping and gnashing of teeth. I was only half joking when I told Alex we were going to start keeping ice chips in the house.

False Start

Today was my first day at my new school. I'm interning at a local high school in the hopes of someday getting paid to mess with your child's mind. I kid, I kid! I do it out of love.

Alex and I are carpooling as much as possible these days to save on gas and so I don't have to drive. (I fear puking while driving! Even though I never puke! The most I do is dry heave!) This works out just fine for us because the school is right by his work. We got up a little late this morning, but we managed to make it out the door without me having a spectacular meltdown. I was very concerned about making it all day today as yesterday was the absolutely worst day yet of my "morning" sickness. (It really should be called "all day" sickness, by the way.) But I didn't want to cancel because it was my first day and I wanted to make a good impression, blah de dah.

I arrived at school, checked in, and saw that my supervisor was not in his office. I headed over to the intern office, put my lunch up, and pulled out some paperwork I needed to finish. I checked back, and still, no supervisor. I decide to ask the secretary if she knew where he was at. And yes, she did know. He was at home. Sick.

I tried to hide the HUGE sense of relief I felt the second she told me. I called Alex and asked him to please come pick me up. Because I needed to lay down ASAP. Don't get me wrong, I am definitely disappointed because I am ready to start getting hours in and learning how to do things in the school. I have been dying to start my new career and this is the first chance I have gotten to get hands on experience. But at the same time, WHEW. No crying in the staff bathroom! No sneaking off for snacks every hour! No fervent wishing for a couch to lay down on! Whee!

Tonight is my first pre-natal appointment. FINALLY. Hopefully the doctor won't call in sick too.

Pregnancy Makes You Stupid

I just spent 10 minutes freaking out that I couldn't find a friend's registry at Bed, Bath, and Beyond. What would we get them if I couldn't find their registry? Are they not registered there? I put in the names of both members of the couple and NOTHING. That stupid little red text came up every time. I frantically IM'ed Alex and told him I could not find their registry! We are terrible friends!

And then I realized I was putting the last name in the first name box and vice versa.

Bleeach

So I'm pregnant. And miserable. Insanely, mind-numbingly miserable. I'm having one of those first trimesters that people don't talk about because then the human race would become extinct. I am nauseous CONSTANTLY. But never enough to puke and get it over with. I just ALWAYS feel sick. And I have felt like this for over a month. For reals. I started feeling bad right around the last time I posted in July. Coincidence? I think not.

For example, today is Monday. I haven't left the house since Thursday. I haven't showered since Saturday. The reason I showered Saturday? Because I was feeling gross for not showering since Thursday. I don't know why, but showering reduces me to tears and makes me feel extra sick. Why is that? The hot water? The prolonged period of standing upright? (10 minutes! Of standing! Oh no!) Today , I had to go outside to check the license plate of the Vue so I could pay the OUTRAGEOUS parking permit fee for the fall semester. And it felt weird. Weird to go OUTSIDE INTO SUNSHINE. I walked back inside and fought back the urge to puke. (Though, to be fair, the urge to puke might have come from having to pay $135 for a freaking NIGHT PASS for GRADUATE SCHOOL that doesn't even cover ALL THE PARKING LOTS ON CAMPUS.) I then had to go lay down. And this post? Has taken me almost an hour to write because I had to lay down TWICE while writing it.

On the plus side, I have watched endless hours of Summer Olympics coverage. Bob Costas and I are BFF. Same with that weird dude who does the daytime coverage. I have yet to learn his name but I *heart* him as well. If only they could calm my troubled innards. Until then, I'm going to keep eating small meals and praying that the neighbors' dog will suddenly become mute and let me sleep for CRYING OUT LOUD, my god people, why don't you control your animal!? I am pregnant and miserable and am not above throwing rocks at you! Not that I have the stamina to stand up and throw a rock, but still! Don't underestimate me!

Where I've Been...Sorta...More Like What I've Been Up To A.K.A God Help Us All

Blurgh

Been busy. Been sick. More details to come. But can I just say that Michael Phelps is going to give me a heart attack? Please let his races end soon. My heart cannot handle it!

Yes, Yes, I've Calmed Down

I know, I know, I know. I am a drama, drama, drama queen. I know. I can't help it.

But I got the freakin' phone.

Alex came home insanely sweaty and tired. He took a shower, and then promptly turned around and drove to Cincinnati. The line wasn't too long...but we discovered upon arrival that they were only letting people in one at a time. Which makes sense due to the hysteria of the iPhone. An Apple employee informed me that people were buying 5 at a time. FIVE IPHONES AT ONE TIME.

So waited for 2 1/2 hours (not the 4 that was predicted) and I got the phone.

Two things that annoyed me.

1) Just because I am standing in line does not mean that I cannot hear. My desire for an iPhone doesn't render me deaf, either. So, all of my fellow mall consumers who walked by? I COULD HEAR YOU. I know what you think about me, and that is fine. But I'm not judging you in your too-tight shorts and bad hair. So BACK OFF.

2) After two hours of line waiting, an Apple employee comes by asking if anyone was an existing AT&T customer. Which we are. He then informs us that if we have a corporate discount on our plan, that they will not be able to help us tonight. Yes. Guess who has a corporate discount on their plan? Alex immediately called and canceled it and the AT&T rep told him that it might not go through for another 24 hours. At which point, we could have killed people with daggers in our eyes. Seriously AT&T? I checked your website multiple times so I would know what to do? And you didn't mention that? Also? Why can't you process a new iPhone on an account with a discount? Is it that hard? Obviously, it went okay and I got the phone, but I was seriously stressed out when we walked into the store. Also? Alex is calling back today to get the discount put back on our account.

Did I mention that Alex is amazing yet? Because he is. He was insanely tired and hadn't eaten anything since noon. And he drove to Cincinnati and stood in line with me for 2 1/2 hours for a phone he wasn't eligible to receive yet. All because I am a freak and was obsessed with getting the phone yesterday. I love him.

GAH!

On the way home, I stop by the local AT&T store to pick up the iPhone. Sold out. I call the closest Apple store and they have it. But it's a 4 hour wait for it. I am disappointed but decide I can probably wait until tomorrow. I then almost rear end someone because the person in front of them felt as though it was necessary to come to a COMPLETE STOP to turn right. I then try to get over. I look and see no one. I start to merge. Suddenly, there is a car right next to me. I get back over and the guy gives me THE LOOK. I avoid him. We stop at the next stoplight right next to each other. I look away. The whole time. I leave Alex a voice mail telling him that I need him to drive me for the rest of the day, since clearly, I am incapable of this process on my own. I come home, check the mail, let the dogs out, and promptly drop my phone. It is now dead. Dead as dead can be. Deader than dead. So dead, it's not even funny. Alex is still not home because he is biking home from work. BIKING. He won't be home for quite a while. And I have no cell phone. With no prospects of an iPhone. I just finished off our Ben and Jerry's. The End.

Welfare

If you take a gander at the sidebar, I have finally updated my reading list. It only took a few months. I also just realized that I have been linking Oil! to No Country for Old Men this whole time. Woops.

The ladies and I are starting the book club up again this month and while Phillison is bound and determined for my choice to be The Time Traveler's Wife, I'm a bit nervous to choose it. The decision has yet to be made, but since I send the book to her first, I might just give in to her wants. :) I'm torn because I've been meaning to read it for years, (literally years!) and just haven't gotten around to it. But I've also heard through the grapevine that other book clubbers have read the book and were not fans. So I will base it on those other people's decisions. (Sorry Phil!)

What I do know, is that I am planning on diving head first into The Twilight Saga come August. School will be over and I'll be unemployed. Might as well read, right? I have read too many good reviews to ignore these books any longer.

And speaking of somewhat recent books that I'm behind on: I just picked up The Road based on a friend's recommendation, although I confess to having some trepidation to begin this one. After all, the last McCarthy novel I read gave me nightmares.

Oh wait, what was that? Did I mention that I will be UNEMPLOYED in less than a month? Did I mis-type? Nope. I found out last week that my services are no longer wanted if I am unable to work full time. And as I have class (for three weeks straight) right smack dab in the middle of the work day (Thanks UD!), combined with the upcoming practicum in which I will have to devote at least two full days to a school...Well...I just couldn't do it. So off I go to the unemployment line and depending on my husband's money. Which is insanely unsavory. I've always wanted to not work, but I always assumed I'd be a stay at home mom if I were to just not work a "real" job. Doesn't that make sense? If I'm not working in an office, I would certainly be working in another, more fulfilling (and less financially rewarding) position as a SAHM. But in order to be a SAHM, you have to fulfill that all important last word of "Mother." And I am not. And as much as I love Parsnip and Murphy, they really don't need me to stay home and nurture them all day, everyday. So instead I am going to be a lazy, jobless bum. Make room on the couch Oprah, because here I come. Yay.

Pitiful

Wow, am I out of shape. I just went for a jog/walk that turned into a walk/jog/walk/crawl. I started out okay, went pretty strong, and then completely lost my mojo. Oy. It was literally painful by the end. Towards the end of the torture, I tried to remember the last time I had engaged in any type of physical activity. Like, any at all. And I couldn't remember. Sloth, thy name is Cora.

Drive In or Nothing Exciting in Particular, but Hey, There's a Few Pictures!

We took the new car to the movies. Alex and I really enjoy going to the drive in during the summers, mostly because we are very cheap. There is also that fun, old fashioned feeling that you get when you drive in and find a suitable place to watch the movie. It always makes me want to wear a poodle skirt and make out. But don't worry! Neither of those happened!

We were also really excited to see how well the Vue could handle our movie watching needs. I am pleased to report that it passed with flying colors.

We didn't go to our usual theater because we really wanted to see "Get Smart." I loved that show when I was kid and was a little nervous when I heard they were making it into a movie. I purposefully waited until after the reviews came out before I decided to see it or not. I'm a little untrusting of Steve Carell after that whole "Evan Almighty" disaster.

Where was I? Ah yes, the drive in facilities. They were...interesting? I wish we had thought to take more pictures because it looks abandoned when you first encounter it. And there were actual gangs of children running around playing various sports. At one point, they moved the game over to right in front of our car. I thought about yelling at those young whipper snappers to move along and shake my cane at them, but I refrained. They moved on and my blood pressure went down and life was good.

The movie was surprisingly entertaining, though a bit predictable. I saw the "twist" coming a mile away and really, I should know by now to say these things out loud before they happen so I have evidence that I actually DID see it coming. Maybe next time.

Bad Rap

I brought the new car to work with me today and most of the guys in the office knew I was leaving to pick it up last night. So when I arrived, I asked the VP if he'd humor me and come outside and look at the car. He's my age and we get along pretty well, so he played along and told me it was phat and what a great car it was and boy, it sure did look nice. Which was excellent and just the kind of affirmation I was looking for. Later, his father-in-law, who is a few years younger than my father, came by and I asked him if he had noticed my new car outside. He hadn't and when I pointed it out to him, he was like, ".... Oh. That's....nice. It's...well. That is... What is that? A mini-van?" :sigh:

Out with the Old

Alex and I have long discussed getting a different vehicle to replace the Sentra with. We were looking for something more family-sized. Not that we are in the family-way, mind you. But it'd be nice to have should something family-like occur. It would also be good when you have a lot of stuff to bring to the lake. Particularly when that stuff included a big, hairy dog who likes to sit in your lap and frankly, has no choice in the matter anyway, because there is a cooler in the backseat with you. Not that I'd know anything about that from personal experience or anything.

So we decided to keep our eyes open for any good deals and be prepared to let the Sentra go if the time came.

Well, my friends, the time came. In the form of 0% interest from our friendly local Saturn dealership.


Now, I have never been a fan of Saturn. In fact, I refused to even consider them for a very long time because I used to date a guy who told me only lesbians drove Saturns. (Ok, so maybe he told me that statistically, lesbians drive more Saturns than any other car, but whatever.) And since that relationship didn't work out, I thought that I should let all the single dudes all there know that I was into their kind and the only way to do that was to not drive a Saturn.

Wow, that was even more embarrassing to type that I thought it would be.


Clearly, I have gotten over this.


We wound up going with the Vue because it was bigger than the (beloved!) Sentra and had comparable fuel economy. It was also super cute. And came in a pleasing deep blue color. Also with a sun roof. And heated seats. In our price range.


This is my first new, new car and I couldn't be happier with it. I'm also thrilled that my first new, new car was purchased with my exceedingly handsome and charming husband.


Hee. It's just so cute. I love it!

Hi, Google Maps is Stalking Me

Ok, I am back. Because Google has been in my neighborhood and taking pictures of my house. And I am so seriously amazingly creeped out by the fact that anyone could look up my address on Google Maps and low and behold there is my house! And it's not just me. Totally took pictures of family members' houses as well! Holy crap. We are being stalked!!!!! Big Brother is watching us!!!! Fight the power!!!! Trust no one!!!!

Oh yeah, hey, hi!

Gosh, y'all. I know, I KNOW. I get all whiny and dumb and then I just leave it up there for weeks at a time. And it's embarrassing.

But I am actually busy. I leaving tomorrow morning to fly back to Louisiana to hang with the fam while my dad recovers from the scary spine surgery business. Oh what? Did I not really talk about that? Oops. See? I AM busy. I missed a chance to complain!

But suffice it to say that when we showed up at the hospital Friday morning and the surgeon came in and said he was pushing it back till Tuesday, I was NOT a happy camper.

So here I am, with less money, less sleep, more stress, and a plane ticket to New Orleans. It sucks yes, but I'm pretty excited that I've got family who is important enough to turn everything upside down for. And I've got a husband who is willing to drive me to Indianapolis so I can go back down again. This will be our second week apart in a row and when I pictured our first year of marriage, I certainly never dreamed of the amount of heartache that would come. But he's been nothing but supportive, despite the ulcer searching for a decently priced plane ticket last night. So life is good and bad and hard and wonderful. Pretty much the same as always.

Whew..mostly

Paper is done. Phillison is getting married today. I have a new dress. My friends are in the same town as me. It's going to be a good day.

...

...

..

Until tomorrow when I have another freaking assignment to do. But we'll avoid thinking about that for today. K?

Checking In and Checking Out

So. I survived the week. Yay! BUT, now I'm now going out of town, so I still won't blog.

I know, I know, y'all are all shocked because I am so consistent in posting. But it's true. I'm flying to Dallas for the wedding of one of my very bestest friends ever in the history of the world and I am giddy. GIDDY, folks. And to add to that awesomeness, all of my close friends from college will be there. AND I get to see my best friend from high school who just announced her pregnancy. Which makes me feel old and jealous and possibly insane.

Point is? It's gonna be a good weekend. I need to relax and I have but a smattering of school work to do while I'm down there. Our bags are packed, our boarding passes are printed and we both got haircuts. It's also my first time to fly with Alex and I am pumped to take a mini-vacation with him. I can't imagine a better traveling partner.

So, be good internet. Enjoy the wonderful weekend and stay out of trouble.

Losing It

5:20 am - Wake up.
5:20:30 am - Freak out because OMG, I woke up 30 minutes late.
5:21 am - Frantically wake up Alex, because, OMG, he has to be at the airport by 5:40.
5:40 am - Leave the house. Both of us unshowered. Alex barely packed.
6:05 am - Drop Alex off at the airport. Give a passing kiss as I practically throw him into the airport.
6:06 am - Begin driving slowly in case he misses his flight.
6:30 am - Stop for gas. Curse under my breath that gas prices are so insanely high. Receive text message that Alex is on the plane. Whew.
6:35 am - Arrive at work.
6:40 am - Eat breakfast. Still hungry. Begin to question shoe choice.
7:40 am - Leave work to go to classroom observations.
8:00 am - Arrive at school and discover there is no where to park. Wedge myself in between two large trucks under a basketball goal. Hope this is a real parking spot. Put lipstick on.
8:01 am - Curse myself for wearing the most uncomfortable shoes in the history of shoes.
8:02 am - Walk into a chaotic classroom in which I am unwelcome. Pretend not to notice.
8:03 am - It's hard not to notice.
8:04 am - ALRIGHT ALREADY. I KNOW YOU DON'T WANT ME HERE.
9:00 am - Scurry away to second classroom and almost trip over Shoes of Death.
9:05 am - Realize that this is going to be a waste of my time.
9:30 am - I'm hungry.
10:00 am - I really have to pee.
10:15 am - Wondering how small the toilets are in this school. Will I break them if I use them? Best not to find out.
10:30 am - Still have to pee. Still hungry. Also starting to feel pretty nasty for not showering. Also still cursing heels.
11:00 am - Why won't the children leave? LEAVE!!!!
11:02 am - Child compliments my shoes. Almost give them to her.
11:10 am - Begin interview. Supposed to last one hour.
11:30 am - Wrap up interview and promise to continue via e-mail.
11:32 am - Stumble to car. Children playing basketball all around my poor, lonely car. Confirm that yes, it is the sole vehicle in the area and that no, that probably wasn't a parking space.
11:33 am - CHILDREN WILL NOT MOVE AWAY FROM MY CAR. I AM TRYING TO BACK UP AND THEY WILL NOT MOVE AWAY FROM THE EFFING CAR.
11:34 am - Think about just running one over.
11:35 am - Exit parking lot without 7th/8th grader attached.
11:50 am - Go back to work. Immediately bombarded with sales rep wanting people. Resist the urge to flip him off.
12:00 pm - Eat Lean Pocket. Wish I had two.
12:20 pm - Wondering if I can sneak a nap in the conference room.
1:00 pm - Alone in the office and eyeing the conference room. Like, for reals.
1:30 pm - Tasked with booking travel plans for my boss. Thank God this is easy to do. Remember that I haven't booked my flight back to Louisiana for my dad's surgery. Mini panic attack ensues.
1:35 pm - Realize that a flight from Dayton to Shreveport costs $1300. Wonder why anyone would ever pay $1300 to fly to SHREVEPORT.
1:40 pm - Remember that I should get my hair done this weekend.
2:00 pm - Take care of boss's travel plans and decide to go ahead and take care of my own.
2:01 pm - Remember that Alex has all the info for flight vouchers. Can't book flight even if I wanted to.
2:02 pm - Realize flight prices have increased by $100 since I checked day before yesterday.
2:03 pm - Curse myself for not booking this damn flight already.
2:05 pm - Call mother to confirm when and where I can fly in and out of. Rush conversation to an end in order to avoid crying on phone. Again.
2:10 pm - Make hair appointment. Feel better.
3:00 pm - Spider Solitaire. Something has to keep me awake.
3:30 pm - Wondering if it's possible to bend the time space continuum.
4:00 pm - Conclude it's not possible. Spider Solitaire.
4:30 pm - Begin fantasy of napping. And of taking wretched pants off.
5:00 pm - I can make it till 6! I can make it till 6!
5:15 pm - I can't make it till 6! I can't make it till 6!
5:16 pm - Leave work.
5:17 pm - Head towards Tim Horton's. The only thing in the world I want right now is a Fruit Explosion Muffin.
5:19 pm - Acquire Fruit Explosion Muffin. Decide it is a gift from the heavens. Call Alex to tell him.
5:20 pm - Alex can't talk. Sing to myself about the wonders of the muffin instead.
5:45 pm - Get home. Relax. No more appointments today! No more responsibility! Life is good!

7:01 pm - Future sister-in-law calls. Look at phone. Realize that I was supposed to be at golf lesson at 7 pm.
7:02 pm - Yep, definitely supposed to be there. Nope, don't know why the instructor's not there. Nope, don't have pants on.
7:03 pm - Realize I am an asshat for completely and totally forgetting about golf lessons.
7:05 pm - Conclude golf lessons will not be happening tonight. Get off of phone. Feel like a TOTAL IDIOT.
7:06 pm - Call Alex to tell him what a moron I am for forgetting about golf lessons. Cannot believe I left the SIL2B stranded.
7:06:30 pm - Alex does not answer. Decide to take my stupidity to the internet instead.

Memorial Day Mayhem 2008

Two years ago, I went to Seneca Lake for Memorial Day. I had no idea what I was getting into. I had met a handsome redheaded boy a week and half earlier and rashly accepted his invitation to camp out at a lake three hours away from my house. And yes, I had only met him a week and half before I went. Sometimes I think I'm crazy too.

So two years ago, I had the best Memorial Day in my life and I was introduced to a whole new set of people who basically blew my mind away with how much fun they all were. I was fascinated and excited and overwhelmed. But in the end, I knew I liked it and was ready for more. I look back on that post and laugh at myself because I was dying, I mean DYING to tell the internet that I was suddenly and stupidly IN! LOVE! but didn't have the guts to do it. It worked out okay, because in 2007, I missed Memorial Day Mayhem so I could go buy a wedding dress to marry that handsome redhead in.

In 2008, we're married. I know the people. I know the lake. I understand the concept of sleeping in a tent. I know the tricks of the shower. I invested in SPF 70 and I still love the Neutrogena kind the best. It was familiar and comfortable and safe. It was exactly what I needed because the big ball of stress that was floating in my gut before I left absolutely exploded on the way home. My father is having trouble walking and the MRI came back with scary news. He's having surgery in a few weeks. On his spine. Because if he doesn't, he's going to be paralyzed. And I am in Ohio during the most stressful and busy summer of my entire life. None of it makes sense and I am angry and feeling guilty and tired of crying. So very tired of crying. I need a few more hours of laying on that catamaran and staring at the sky to make sense of all of this.

Meeeemories

Yes, that is me front and center.

My grandmother insists on keeping this picture of me on the fridge o' memories. THIS PICTURE ONLY. I have taken a least one hundred million zillion more attractive pictures and this, THIS, is what she leaves up for all the world to see. Do you see the great picture of my cousin on the top right? Yeah, she's eight years younger than me. EIGHT YEARS YOUNGER AND SHE GETS HER SENIOR PICTURE ON THE FRIDGE O' MEMORIES. Although to Maw Maw's credit the baby beneath her is also her. But I can't figure out for the life of me why she leaves that one picture up. I hate that picture. I have ALWAYS hated that picture. Passionately. Violently. Hysterically. And yet there it is, staring me in the face every single time I go home. I mean, I know there are metaphors for facing the past and things you disliked about your former self, but do I really need a framed photo of the eighties hair on the fridge for that? I think not.

Also? My incredibly amazing grandfather is in the black and white picture to the left. What an amazing, fun man. I miss him.

P.S. It's good to know I had bags under my eyes even at that time. It's not just my old age!

I am still a weirdo

Last night, I dreamed that there was a mistake with my grades and I actually got C's in two of my classes. And I went insane. I cried and screamed "Why? Why?" like I was Nancy Kerrigan. I woke up with a knot in my stomach the size of Texas. Because I got two C's.

When I went back to school, I vowed not to place so much importance on grades. My goal was to do my very best possible, and if my effort resulted in an "A," then that was fantastic. But I cannot let it go. Can.Not. And now I'm dreaming about it. Oy. Sometimes I feel like I've grown and then sometimes I feel like I am just doing the same things all over again.

I'm Back

And things are insane. I came in with just enough time to run to the bookstore, drop $300 on books and head to five hours of class. Yep, 300 bucks for summer school classes. And yep, five hours. And now I am tired and my online class isn't working correctly and I have to go to work tomorrow with no food.

But the trip? Was pretty good. More later.

(Photo courtesy of my mother who saw my camera, went insane, and proceeded to take a severely large amount of pictures. Some of which are pretty amazing. Don't ask me how she does it because she's never had a DSLR in her hands before, nor has she ever spent any time learning about photography. She's naturally that good.)

(And I hate her for it.)

(Oh, just kidding. I love you Mommy!)

Finally

Yep, we finally got it.

We found a pretty good deal at Best Buy and since Dell still sucks, we decided to go ahead and jump at the chance to buy it now. I have an impromptu trip to New Orleans planned this weekend and I decided a fancy pants camera would improve the quality of the visit. (Which I am dreading, FYI.)

Alex met me at work and we practically flew to Best Buy. Now that I look back on it, it was kind of cute how we hung around the camera section as if we weren't there drooling over the camera. We tried to act nonchalant and looked at a different camera, because, why? I have no idea. So the camera wouldn't know how desperate we were? So the Best Buy guy would have to wait a few seconds before selling us the camera we were clearly there for, coupon in hand? Who knows. I kind of felt like we were adopting a puppy, because Alex walked up to the Best Buy guy and was all, "We'd like an Xti?" Kind of like, "How much is that doggy in the window? The one with the waggly tail?"

We were so excited once we left the store that we couldn't even wait to get home to open it. I ripped open the box and packaging and Alex pulled over in an adjacent parking lot so we could laugh in maniacal glee. The camera. It was finally ours.



And available to us with both English and Spanish directions!

Anyway, this thing takes BITCHIN' pictures, y'all. For serious. Life before this camera seems so empty and boring now. I'm feeling feelings I never thought I had. My life feels whole, complete, amazing. I have a purpose now. It's like I've given birth to my first born. Except instead of being a wriggling, screaming child, it's a little black box that takes pictures like this.



EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



After we left Best Buy, we headed over to Panera Bread and refused to speak to each other because we were too busy ogling THE CAMERA, OH MY GOD, LOOK AT THE CAMERA. IT TAKES THE BEST PICTURES IN THE ENTIRE WORLD. Except that it desperately needs a better looking subject.



Yikes!

But have no fear, I am married to the most handsome red head in the known universe and he is an excellent subject.



After our dinner o' silence, we headed over to the local arboretum to take our little baby for its first trip out. We basically spent the entire time saying to each other, "Give me the camera!" and then running up to the nearest flower. Boring for you, but FASCINATING for us. Behold:







Once we made it home, I refused to even go inside because I was obsessed with taking pictures of our newly landscaped front lawn. I will spare you those...for NOW. (MWUHAHAHAHAHA!) The poor dogs were inside barking like crazy and I was like, "What is the pesky noise? Is something upset? MACRO! MACRO! MACRO!"

Parsnip? Is not amused.



She's stuck behind bars with no one to cuddle. Life is tough when you've been replaced.

Still Breathing

I have survived the week...barely. I came home from work last night and immediately went straight to bed. I started reading my new book club book (I haven't updated the side bar in a while. My bad. I know y'all were all wondering why on earth I haven't finished reading "Oil!" yet. Probably because I stopped reading it in order to read last month's book, which I didn't even bother putting on the sidebar. Because I am together.), ate some dinner, and fell asleep. And lo, it was glorious.

(Could that parenthetical aside have been any longer? Geez.)

I have only one more assignment left for this semester and then I get an entire week free before summer school starts. Yippee. It's a bit anti-climatic when you only get a week off, but I am planning on sucking the marrow out of that one week.

Also? That last post? Totally a product of my vision statement for my leadership class. Yes, I get angst-y writing about myself. No one ever said I wasn't an emotional ball of wonder. (I have got a lot of guilt, ok? A LOT. You can't be an only child from a strong Southern Baptist family and not come out with suitcases and suitcases of guilt. Like, TRUCKLOADS of guilt. I know my Catholic friends all think they have this guilt complex thing in the bag, but have I got news for them. We Southern Baptists have gotten the guilt thing down to an art.)

(Don't judge me!)

(Or my parenthetical asides!)

But! My life rules. And so there's no reason for me to wallow, wallow, wallow, when I can live, live, live instead. Which is my plan. And so far, that plan is going smashingly well. I've got a cookout tonight at Seth's house, which he posted about as well. Incidentally, he said that we are going to eat like kings. What he doesn't know is that Alex and I are bringing a pasta salad that will take a good 2-5 years off of our lives. However, it will be worth it, because a life without bacon is not a life worth living.

Also happening this weekend? Project Paint-The-Kitchen-Already-You-Lazy-Bums. We've had the paint in our possession for months now. MONTHS. And still haven't painted. So I'm telling the internet in the hopes that will motivate us to stop looking at the paint and start using it. Plus, that gives me an excuse to post pictures and that way you don't have to read all of these word-like things that I sort of post coherently.

(I *heart* bacon!)

Somedays

I think the guilt that weighs me down is going to rise up and swallow me whole.

Oh, Holy Crap

I am a moron. A complete and total moron. Why have I not kept up to date with my assignments this semester? Why? WHY???? I have spent all day alternating between working on school work and reading Amalah's archives. (Guess which I probably spent more time doing. Go on. Guess!) (Also, why have I not linked to her yet in my sidebar? Who knows! It's probably in the same part of my brain that thought I'd be okay with not doing journal entries for entire months at a time and now am faced with the task of backlogging them because they are due on THURSDAY.)

On the bright side, I have four out of seven assignments done for this week. That is over half! Woo! Too bad the most difficult and time consuming ones are NOT done. GREAT.

How did I make it through undergrad? How? Was I smarter then? It must have been because I didn't have a boyfriend. Like, seriously, that has to be it. Because I am looking back on my 18-21 year old self and I think that self needs to chill out and have some fun, because SERIOUSLY.

Although props for not waiting until the weekend before the last week of classes to do EVERYTHING DUE THE ENTIRE SEMESTER.

So, on second thought, way to go 18-21 year old self! But, please, go put some make up on and buy a shirt that's not a t-shirt, get some confidence, and TALK TO PEOPLE. It'll help a lot once you reach the 22-26 year old portion of your life.

Hugs,
Your Moronic 27 year old self

An Update about that Whiny Post Down Yonder

So I totally went for a run and it was fairly successful. I won't say it was a complete success, because I miscounted TWICE and skipped two full minutes of running. However, I only felt like I was going to die once! So...woo!

I would also like someone to help me overcome my addiction to Leona Lewis' "Bleeding Love." It's just so darn catchy. I can't stop listening! It's taking over my life! My liiiiiife!!!!!!

Crazy in the Head

Tuesday, in a fit of what can only be described as MASSIVE INSANITY, I volunteered to run in a 5K this weekend. Yes, you read that correctly. I volunteered on TUESDAY for a 5K THIS SATURDAY. Tuesday!

(And since I really enjoy torturing myself, I also signed up and paid actual money IN ADVANCE to run another one in May. (Which is for a worthy cause, by the way. The Humane Society is a fantastic organization, in which 1/4 of this family was raised in, and my twenty dollars is a pathetically small donation to such a great cause. The issue is not the money. The issue is that I thought I would want to run a freaking 5K in a month's time.)))

I go through these phases of athletic activity where I get really motivated and buy new work out clothes (mostly socks because I lose those those faster than I blink) and make lofty weekly goals. I am entering one of those phases. The problem is that these phases generally last only a week. Or two.

Back in 2006, I joined a gym for the first time and I diligently went for several months. I picked a facility close to my apartment and went everyday after work. I began watching what I ate and made conscious efforts to work off extra calories. I lost 17 pounds. And it felt amazing. My weight loss also upped my self-esteem in a tremendous way and I was so pleased with my commitment. I could do anything! I was super woman!

And then I met Alex.

And you all know where I am going with this. I fell in love and everything in the world was full of roses and sunshine and kisses and why would I go the nasty old gym and torture myself when I could snuggle? (Snuggling is pretty much ALWAYS the answer, particularly when the alternative is something related to the concept of work.) He loved me for who I was! He thought I was beautiful and perfect! Just! The! Way! I! Was!

Gah, I don't know why I ever felt like that was justification to drop the gym altogether and then eat anything and everything in sight. Because now? Now I am in a constant state of flux with my weight. I've fallen back into my old eating habits and when I look at myself in the mirror, I have a strong urge to vomit all over the place, because my god, have I gotten fat. It doesn't help that I live with a man who has zero idea of what healthy eating consists of, nor does he particularly care. Sure he tries, but why then there are nights like tonight where I'm hungry and tired and he's on his way from work and calls me to suggest that we should just have fried chicken tonight. We haven't eaten it in really loooong time and we'll go to the gym tomorrow and you're super skinny baby, I swear!

So back and forth I go. And I get so frustrated with myself that I can't just put the damn fork down and get in the gym. It's such a simple concept and one that is easily achieved. And yet, here I sit, letting the FRIED CHICKEN digest, while I write a whiny post complaining about my weight. I've got athletic shorts and a work polo on. I've got clean socks on the desk and my running shoes are...somewhere. (Alex is mowing the lawn because is the most awesomely awesome man who ever awesomed.) And instead of stretching or, I don't know, working on the seven assignments that are due next week (HOLY CRAP I'M GOING TO DIE), I continue to surf the internet, and listen to iTunes, and play Spider Solitaire. Why? Because it's easier than being active. And sometimes, I really, really, really hate that about myself.

But oh my god, those mashed potatoes tonight were AMAZING.

Are You Kidding Me, or Dell Still Sucks

So Dell? Still sucks.

Alex sent a bunch of polite, angry e-mails proclaiming his lack of satisfaction with the way Customer Service handled the whole Let's-Cancel-Your-Order-And-Not-Tell-You thing. He was told by one customer service rep that they will only take fifty dollars off the price because Dell is not responsible for typos on their own website.

He also called in to talk to someone today and was told that they were out of stock of the camera, so you're out of luck, sucker. The customer service rep insisted that they had proof of the camera being out of stock, because CANON ITSELF was out of stuck. She told him to go look at a particular link on Canon's website to see for himself. So he did. And guess what? Canon has the camera! In stock! After he hung up with this extremely helpful lady, Alex called Dell and asked if he could order an XTi and could it ship soon? Sure they can help him! Because the camera is IN STOCK.

Honestly.

I can't figure out for the life of me why they didn't just honor the price the first time around, apologize for the error, and move on.

In other news, I can't get Leona Lewis' "Keep Bleeding" out of my head. Except that I keep confusing her with Mariah Carey, even though they don't sound very much alike. I guess it's because Mariah is on American Idol tonight and I am dreading it because it sounds like this can only end in heartache.

I still hate Dell.

Dell Sucks

Hi. I am here to tell you that Dell sucks. Here is why.

A few weeks ago, Alex and I purchased a Canon EOS XTi from Dell. They had it for a great deal and it was kind of a spur of the moment decision. We've been checking everyday on the website since then to see when they would ship our camera.

This morning, they said our order was cancelled.

Alex called customer service, where he was passed around and told that the camera was defective. He asked to be transferred to someone who could help him get a new camera and he was transferred to sales support. There, a woman told him that he could re-order the camera, no problem. It would just cost $110 more.

Alex, of course, said that no, he wanted to purchase the camera for the price that he had originally paid. (Note: We haven't actually PAID for it yet, because we got a discount using Dell's credit service. We already own a Dell laptop.) The lady put him on hold and when she returned, she told him that marketing made a mistake on the price and that he would have to pay the new price if he wanted the camera. Alex protested that he had made this order a week ago and went through the entire check out process without a hitch. The lady apologized and offered him $100 in Dell Bucks if we purchased the camera for the new, bloated price. Not $110 Dell Bucks, but $100. That didn't even cover the difference in cost.

So, in conclusions, Dell sucks. They allowed us to purchase the camera at a specific price and then a week later, cancelled the order without any warning. We were told two different reasons for the cancellation and then that they would not compensate us for the difference in price.

Also? Alex's flight got cancelled. He's not coming until tomorrow afternoon. Don't even get me started. The fact that I just typed this while remaining calm is a testament to the power of Diet Coke and Mexican Chicken Tortilla Soup.

A Leetle Bit Calmer

So, I found my source. Ahem. It turned out fine. Yes. Perhaps I overreacted just a wee bit. A wee, wee, wee bit.

Anyways, I have started reading Amalah and it is ruining my life. Why? Because all I do is read it. Instead of writing papers and vision statements and interviews and journal entries. And then, THEN, I get on the computer and IM Alex about how I need to get pregnant. Like. NOW. And since Leah just announced her pregnancy today, I have a feeling he might as well just start blocking me on Google Talk. Because all I want to talk about are the babies, the sweet, sweet babies and how my eggs are like, mega freaking old, and my body is all, 'HELLO! GET PREGNANT NOW!' and how wouldn't it be the greatest to be parents???? WOULDN'T IT???? Yes it would! It would be the greatest! So impregnate me, DAMMIT.

And then I hear a kid cry in the store and think, 'THANK GOD I don't have a baby.' And then I plan imaginary purchases and vacations in my head and think, 'We HAVE to do that before we have a baby. THANK GOD we don't have a baby yet.'

Nobody can ever accuse me of being fickle. No sirree. Not me. Also? Not emotional.

But Bell is pregnant now too and we could swap stories and maybe she'd finally start a freaking blog of her own and we'd tag team on pregnancy stories and then baby stories and secretly compete on whose kid is the cutest and it'd be the BEST.EVER.

So...

I'm a little stressed out. Is that obvious? No? Good!

And I might possibly be going crazy and I need Alex back in this state as soon as possible. Did I mention he's not here? Because he's not here! He's in Texas! The state that guarantees you will never ever leave because American is cutting all of their flights. Just like they already screwed with our flight that we booked last week to go to Dallas in June. June! They're cutting flights in June! And they're also assuring that anyone who might want to go from San Antonio to Columbus, can't do that and if he does not come back tomorrow night, I will have to lose it all over the place because there is school and there are dogs and there are in-laws and there are my parents who don't think I love them. I cannot handle this! CAN.NOT.HANDLE.THIS.

Inspiration? Psssh

I have a paper due in a little over an hour. I feel pretty good and about it and am ready to print it. Except for one teensy little problem: I cannot find a THIRD source. I have the text, my personal communication, but I need ONE MORE SOURCE TO FINISH THIS PAPER AND SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS NO OTHER SOURCE IN MY CAREER DEVELOPMENTAL PATH, OKAY!? AAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just...no idea. None. I am stumped. Honest to goodness stumped. The good news is that the bubble bath and freshly painted toes are nice. The bad news is that they did not inspire me nor did they calm me down. Because.I.Still.Have.No.Third.Source.

You'd think a professional academic and bullshitter like myself would be able to come up with a third source. Well, you'd be wrong. And I am FREAKING OUT. An hour and ten minutes to go and nooooooo ssssssoooooooouuuuuuurrrrrrcccccccceeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!

AIIIIIEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A Table, Just Like Real Adults!

Alex and I had a fantastic Easter yesterday. We got up early, went to church, went to IKEA, ate lunch with family, went to Jungle Jim's, and came home. All in all, a nice day.

Was that IKEA, you say? Did y'all seriously go to IKEA on Easter Sunday? Why, yes, yes we did. It was on the way to lunch! I promise! After we got home, we put a little March Madness on and Alex put together the table and chairs. I am SO GLAD he is handy because I kind of hate putting these things together. I mean, I can do them, but I am insanely slow and have been known to get frustrated more than once with this DIY kind of projects. Behold the mastery and skill:





We went with the Bjursta table and the Borje chairs. And I love them. And see? It's kind of like two tables for the price of one. Also note the gorgeous vase on the table. I have been DYING to display it since I got it for the wedding. The flowers in it are super cheap-o though. They have lasted for over 2 weeks, which is a miracle in this house, so they are worth their weight in gold.

We also got curtains. But since I sort of hate the window they're on and I'm too lazy to move the chair, I'll just show you a sampling as a backdrop for the cute little Elephant Palm we also picked up there. Some would say we're addicted, but I say we are just deal shoppers.

An Open Letter to the Internet

Dear Internet,

Please stop freaking me out about the babies. The poor, poor babies. Now all I can think about are the many, many, many ways a pregnancy and birth can go wrong. Sure, maybe you are trying to point out how "shallow" my life is with the "golf lessons" and the "parties." But you know what? I LIKE IT THAT WAY. Is it necessary to keep bringing up blogs that make me cry? Really? I think that's a bit much. Just because my blog is "vapid" and "boring," doesn't mean you have to mock it. Sure I haven't written anything of substance since 2005, but do you have to throw it back in my face like this? There is a place for this. Just look at Reality TV! Some people call it "dumb," but I call it "accessible." I am FUN. Do you hear me? F.U.N. So stop pointing out all the suffering with the real people and their real lives and their real problems. It's making me depressed and if you keep this up I'm going to throw a Hannah McDonald book at you and I bet you won't like it.

Love forever and always,
Cora

Failure

Our yard no longer looks like that. Yay! However, that is what a blizzard looks like, in case you were ever wondering. Yes, I am a full week late on this. But let's face it, my blogging skillz ain't what they used to be.

Shameful as it is, I have failed at blogging everyday. I missed Friday and so I figured what's the point in posting Saturday when I have nothing to say? Embarrassing.

I am so hungry. I cannot stop eating. I have this huge gnawing hunger in my tummy that WILL NOT GO AWAY. In fact, I am typing this post with chip encrusted fingers.

In case you were ever wondering how many times I could listen to Journey's "Don't Stop Believing" in a row, the answer is INFINITY. Where was this song my entire life? I'm totally blaming my parents for keeping me away from secular music for the first 15 years of my life. Kelly Clarkson and Ingrid Michaelson better watch out because Steve Perry is making a run for the money in the song count on my iTunes.

I finished reading "The Sun Road" today and HAAAAAAATED it. Holy cow, my ire for that book could not be any stronger. I thought that was pretty strange because the two lovely ladies who read the book before me enjoyed it and gave it a solid "Good" rating. I, on the other hand, found the entire thing boring and pretentious and wordy. By the end of the book, I was yelling about how much I was annoyed. (Which is SO pleasant to be around, might I add. I read a few passages aloud to Alex who graciously humored me. God bless him.) I will admit that it did make me cry towards the end, but I am contributing that to the fact that my father-in-law recently passed away from cancer and not from the gibbersh-filled excuse for prose. Because it was dreadful! Absolutely dreadful!

Apology

I am a sad sack of a blogger right now. I am exhausted, cranky, and I don't wanna wriiiiittteeee. WAH!!!!!! Poor, poor me with my busy life of working a full time job and going to grad school and working out. I'm sooooooooo miserable. Look at how I suffer!

More tomorrow. I have pictures, like, FOR REALS that I want to post.

IKEA IKEA IKEA

Alex and I headed down to the opening day of IKEA tonight and it was magical. We bought a rug and a plant and a sifter and a candle and picked out a dining room table and chairs. YEEHAW! Sadly it's almost midnight and I have a presentation due tomorrow. Did I mention that we also went to Dick's and Kohl's and Wal-Mart? Cause we went there too. I am fully decked out and ready for work out time. Woo!

Heya

I'd love to post pictures or something but I'm downstairs on the laptop which has NO pictures of a blizzard while I watch American Idol on Tivo. My husband's girlfriend did well, so we are pleased here in the house of Cora. My ex-stripper did not do very well, so that is sad. He has no chance of winning. It's true.

Introduction of Sorts

Alex has taken a liking to this blog thing and you can find his musings here. But what better way to properly introduce him to the internet than with an embarrassing video? Yes! I thought it was a good idea too!

Alex would like for me to note that he is not stoned in this video. And he has lost 20 pounds since we made this. Jerkface. I've lost, like, -1 pounds. (I kid, I kid, but he is seriously way ahead of me in the Biggest Loser Competition.) We were just EXTREMELY bored and ready to spend some time away from family. Hence the stupidity of the below. But hopefully, you'll find us charming in that "You're like a dumb puppy" kind of way.

Behold, our introduction to YouTube:


Great, right? GREAT! We are at my beloved Maw Maw's house and that is my mom wandering in the background for a bit. So random. So dumb. So us. Love us just the way we are!