Thursday, March 30, 2006

Oh, and, by the way

As I think I mentioned at some point or the other, I have moved into the office at work and am rather enjoying it. With the seminar out of the way, we've switched gears slightly and I'm working on some new stuff that's boring, yet oddly satisfying to my anal retentive self. I've been enjoying myself thus far, but there was one drawback. Less money. Office workers aren't allowed/required (however you choose to view it) to pull 50+ hour weeks. So I suddenly lost a significant amount of overtime in the process. I was okay at first, but as time passed, I started freaking about my finances. I hemmed and hawed for a bit and finally decided to mention something to my immediate superior. She is, in a word, awesome. So I felt pretty comfortable saying something to her because 1) she doesn't have that kind of power, so it wouldn't feel like I was asking her and 2) she's got mad sympathy skills. She understood my plight and told me she'd bring the issue up to the Big Boss Lady. That was last week.

I went into this week thinking that either my boss had not said anything or the big boss lady had laughed in her face. But then, on Monday morning, my boss came over and was snooping around my stuff. She then asked me to come with her and we went in the front conference room and she shut the door. I just knew that they were letting me go. Going to the conference room is like getting called to the principal's office. You just know you're in trouble. That is where people go in hired and come out fired. Where they go in a supervisor and come out a line inspector. You just don't want to go. So, I immediately began preparing myself for the speech that they had changed their minds and I was no longer needed in the office.

My boss sat down and looked at me and said, "The Big Boss Lady answered my question about your raise last week but forgot to copy me on the e-mail." She then took a breath and said, "You got your raise." I almost passed out I was so relieved.

So, yippee! The best part was that it was actually MORE than what I had asked for or was expecting to get. So I apolgoize, internet. I got so distracted describing the no good, very bad, awful bad date that I forgot to share the happy stuff too. Hooray for good news that makes for a very boring blog post!

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Psuedo-Blind Date

Check out this cute little guy I got at Starbucks tonight. I saw him a long time ago around Valentine's Day and didn't get him because, you know, I don't really NEED a preppy teddy bear with a cute pink flower in its hand. But there was one lone one left this evening on clearance and I just had to get him. He was so cute and little and on sale. How could I resist?

Remember the German guy who thought I was pretty? Well, he and I have been talking more and he asked me if I'd like to go to dinner with him this weekend. I, of course, agreed and was pretty excited since I haven't had a date since Columbus discovered America. The plan was to meet at Barnes and Noble, browse the books, and then head to Applebee's for dinner. I was imagining a night of coffee and conversation and possibly a book purchase.

I really need to curb my imagination.

So I get there and he is not there. I'm not that surprised because I'm a little early. I'm also a little nervous. So I decided to go to the bathroom. This meant I had to cross the electronic barrier that is in place to keep you from shoplifting CD's and DVD's. And, of course, the alarm goes off. Apparently, my iPod is sensitive to that kind of a thing. I was halfway expecting him to come walking up after the loud noise sounded and my face had turned red. But no, nothing. I was safe. I went to the bathroom and came out with a watchful eye. I saw somebody who looked like him, but I wasn't for sure. I have to be honest, my very first reaction was to bolt. In fact, I did start to walk very quickly in the opposite direction and hid behind a bookcase. I finally decided that I needed to suck it up and meet him. I couldn't be a jerk and stand him up! Since I knew the alarm would go off if I crossed back into the electronic section, I decided to plant myself by a display of books and browse. Dude passed me like, 40 times. He kept walking by and walking by and I was like, “You know what? It was your idea, come TALK TO ME.” I finally got frustrated and put down my book to leave, when he stopped me and asked if I was “Cora.” (Totally not my real name and feels weird to type that!)

We had a tiny little awkward conversation and he apologized for circling me like a bird of prey. I said it was okay and he asked if I was ready for dinner. I was like, “Sure. Always ready for food!” And then he asked me where I parked and then paused because he couldn't remember where he had parked. I tried to tell him that we should go out the other way, but he cut me off and said he just needed to pick a direction and go with it. Then he sprinted through the electronic section. I tried to stop him and explain that I'd prefer to walk around, otherwise the alarm would go off. But apparently his hearing isn't so great when he's fleeing. I rushed after him and, of course, the alarm went off. And, of course, he didn't even stop. He barely hesitated. I ran after him and it went off again as we exited the building. Did this bother him? Possibly, and maybe that's why he was rushing away. Didn't want to be caught with the loser making the alarm go off repeatedly. I caught up with him outside and he was like, “I'm still up for Applebee's, but I don't know where it is.” (We had decided to meet in a "neutral" location.) I pointed out where it was and he said, “Okay, see you there. If I get lost, you'll have to eat by yourself!”

So I had to drive myself to dinner, which was totally not what I was expecting. Like, really? We can't ride together? Particularly if you don't know where you're going? I immediately called BGF and said, “I'm driving myself to Applebee's.” To which he responded, “Did you bring your debit card? Cause I bet you're gonna have to pay for dinner too.”

So we get to the restaurant and he says something about not thinking there will be a wait. On the inside, I said, “Yeah right.” But on the outside, I said, “Hope not! I’m hungry!” I’m stupid. I should have said, “Yeah, right.” Because stating that I didn’t want to wait, apparently made him think that not waiting was the only option. When we walked in, I said a table for two and he totally overrode me with, “How long is your wait?” When she said 40 – 45 minutes, he did that annoying, “Mmmmm, I don't know about that face,” and I was like, IT'S FINE I'M NOT DRIVING ANYWHERE ELSE.

So the entire time we were waiting for our table, he kept making comments about how he wished we could sit down and how uncomfortable it was and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on. GAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH.

So when the hostess called our name, we went to go to our table. And again, he practically ran to the table. I had to stop because I almost got run over by an incoming waitress. This did not phase him. Probably because he does not have super special seeing eyes in the back of his head.

We sat down and ordered and things got a little bit better. He seemed to relax a little and we conversed and I was hoping that things were taking a turn for the better.

Then the food came.

And all conversation stopped. Ceased. Ended. Halted. Complete and total silence. So awkward.

I was looking at him and trying to think of things to talk about, but I was really distracted by LSU winning and he was so not into it. I said something about it and he was like, "Huh." And so I just kept looking around.

Then the bill came. And it sat. And sat. And sat. And just when I thought it couldn't sit any longer. It sat. MORE. Silently. Just like us.

FINALLY, he reached for it and I was getting ready to make a move for my purse, when he said, "Since you drove so far, I'll pay." I was like "Um, thanks?" Obviously, I was aware at this point that this was either 1) not a date or 2) an awkward joke of a date. So I decided to take the free meal and smile.

He finally decided it was time to go and, true to form, sprinted to the door. I ran after him and met him outside. He turned to me and said, "Well, goodbye!"

He started to turn away and I managed to get out, "Thankyoufordinner" before he got a chance to escape. He said, "No problem. Have a safe trip." And that was it. He was gone just as he came and I was left standing alone in front of Applebee's at 7:30 pm on a Saturday night.

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Technologic, pt. 2

Ok, so I didn't deliver this post yesterday, as promised. I'm a bad blog promiser. Forgive me.

My laptop broke down many moons ago and I never got it fixed. Mainly because it was going to cost me $75 an hour to get this puppy going again and I just KNEW that meant it'd take a good 10 hours to fix, you know? That's just my luck, people, I'm really not that cynical.

Anyway, BGF has a cousin who is some kind of electrical/electronic genius and he was kind enough to take a look-see at the old laptop. His initial diagnosis was a tiny bit horrible. It basically was, “I bet your motherboard's done for, so it'll be cheaper to buy a new computer.” When BGF told me this, I almost passed out. I've been waiting all this time, when really I needed to be saving up for a new computer altogether? Where's the nano I just bought? Let me dropkick that out the window.

However, fortune was on my side once again, and the laptop was fixed. Painlessly, freely, and timely, actually. So when BGF brought the little laptop home, I immediately made plans to purchase a new wireless card. (This baby's a little old. It was made before those things were standard issue.)

So before the previously posted Target trip for pink headphones, we made our way to Wal-Mart for a lovely little Linksys PCMI card. It was the same one I had before, so I figured it wouldn't be a problem.

Here's the part of the story where you realize that BGF is so better off not as my friend and that I truly am evil for sharing a picture of him with pink headphones. He sat down and began getting my computer up and ready to be on a wireless connection while I watched the American Idol results show. Yes. He really is that awesome. Why he is still single is one of the great mysteries of the modern world.

I knew things weren't going well, however, when he turned to me and said, “So what if you broke the entire slot when you dropped it that one time?”

See, what I had forgotten was that even many more ago, I had dropped my little laptop on its side, crushing the PCMI card that was sticking out. And I'm not kidding when I said "crush." It totally busted the card and I was back to a life of wired internet. It never occurred to me that I might have possibly busted the ENTIRE slot. But there it was. The little doohickeys and thingamabobbers in that little slot were just not working.

Not to be outdone, I said, “I'm returning this tonight and getting a USB wireless card-y thing.”

So I drug BGF out with me (but not before we kissed Kevin Covais goodbye) and we went back to Wal-Mart. Returning the card wasn't a problem and then I headed back to the electronics section. BGF had gone ahead of me and low and behold, there were no USB wireless card-y things there. Poor BGF. It was like he was speaking a completely different language when he told me this news. I just looked at him like my dog looks at me when I tell her "no." You know that look. You cock your head to the side and and think, "I'm just going to pretend I can't understand you, when I know perfectly well you just told me I can't have what I want." With that newly rekindled only child fire back in my eyes, I simply said, "No." I refused, and I mean refused to go back to my house without a USB wireless card-y thing. So I said resolutely, “Come on. We’re going to Meijer.”

BGF wasn't too hopeful about Meijer having what we needed since their electronic section is generally under par. Again, I brushed him off with the "Stupid human! I will rule this earth with my ways!" look and we headed off. We arrived at Meijer, where all my drive was lost when I realized I had no idea where to go or what to look for. BGF led the way and yelled, "Holy crap!" when he saw not 1, but 2 different kinds of USB wireless card-y things. Meijer had not failed us! Victory would be ours!

I practically bumrushed the salesperson idling by the electronics area and ran to the nearest open counter.

We returned to my place, where I once again took on the incredibly difficult task of doing idiotic things while BGF worked on my computer. This time, I played with my iPod and danced around like a maniac. Apple should call me because I could star in one of their commercials.

As you can tell, BGF worked his magic and I'm now online with my own laptop. This pleases me to no end because I finally get a chance to use my adorable new mouse that I've owned for months and have been unable to use until now.

Life is good technologically speaking. Now, if only my date tonight had gone better...

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Technologic, pt. 1

Pictures, as promised.

Here I am with the Nano before I actually opened it. It was like Christmas in March! Good thing we were having Christmas-y weather!

I convinced BGF that he needed to chronicle each step of the way while I opened the nano. He found it annoying, yet endearing. But seriously, look how cute I am! Look how cute it is! We're a match made in heaven.

What you can't see is that there was a lot of squealing and yelping and "OH MY GOSH! LOOK HOW CUTE IT IS! IT'S SO LITTLE! I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE IT!!!!!!!!!" Maybe THAT was what BGF found so annoying. Huh. Didn't occur to me until just now. (Note the extraneous dog shot in the background. She was dying for some attention at that point.)

Well, once the nano was opened and safely hooked up to the computer, it was time to go shopping. The most important buy of the evening was a pair of brand spanking new headphones for the nano. Only the best for my baby.

As you may have noticed, pink is my color. It wasnt always this way. I loathed pink as a child and as Phillison pointed out earlier today, black was my color in junior high. (Unfortunately, black was not my color because it’s a classic and has slimming affects. Black was my color because I HATED THE WORLD!!!!! GAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!) So when I saw awesome pink headphones at Target, I knew they had to be mine. The problem was that I couldn’t justify purchasing 20 dollar headphones when I already had a perfectly good pair. (That were the same exactly style, only different colors.) But when I decided to get the nano, I knew the pink headphones had to be mine. I kept putting off purchasing them until it came in the mail, though. Which was stupid. As usual, the day I decide to purchase something, they are nowhere to be found. I know Target is notorious for not keeping their stock long, but I thought maybe the pink headphones were permanent, you know? No. They were in the process of being clearanced out of existence and I couldn’t find them anywhere. I refused to give up so easily and so I went to ask the Target employee with the many tattoos who was working by the cameras. I picked up a pair of headphones that were similar to the ones I was looking for and I walked up to him and said, “I’m looking for some headphones that are like this but…” And before I could even finish the sentence he looks at me with slight disdain and says, “The pink ones?” Y’all, he just KNEW. I’m not sure what this says about me as a person or how I look, but I must scream ‘PINK!!!!’ Is it because I look girly? Dainty? 12? I don’t know. But he knew. He said they were on clearance and they were discontinuing them, but that he thought he had seen some left. He went and checked an aisle and came back empty handed. My heart grew a little heavy at the thought of having an iPod without pink headphones to keep it company. He offered to check in the back and I gladly accepted. He was gone for a loooooooooong time and I figured all was lost. I started thinking of other options and what I wanted to do (since the iPod buds make my ears bleed), when he came back with the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

They were the last ones left and he had to hunt for them. He said he almost gave up and then looked in one last place and there they were. That's called fate, y'all. It was meant to be. Aren't they gorgeous? I know BGF thinks so.

Tomorrow: laptop lovin'!

Wednesday, March 22, 2006


The nano arrived today! And the laptop came back fixed yesterday!

There will be pictures tomorrow. Seriously. There are pictures of pink headphones and little nanos and a very, very, very happy Cora.

Until then, sit back and smile because Kevin Covais is finally off of American Idol. Not that it wasn't sad and sweet when he left, but still, he was WAAAAAY out of his league, y'all.

This post was brought to you by MY laptop. Huzzah!

Monday, March 20, 2006

A little something for everyone

Y’all, the nano shipped today. Yee-haw!

I’m frustrated because I have nothing exciting to write about. I’ve been sitting here trying to think of awesome things to tell the internet and nothing is coming to me. Nothing. Nada. It’s sad really. The biggest things on my mind so far today: Dave and Buster’s and my nails. My god, can you handle the excitement? I know I might explode from it all.

That’s it, I give up. I’m just going to ramble.

So today is the first day of spring. I’m wearing a very cute pink striped sweater as I type this. And I wore a coat while outside. It’s supposed to snow tonight. Not very spring-y. Stupid weather. This is one reason why I miss Louisiana.

I’ve noticed that there are a lot of couple blogs popping up. In fact, two friends from college are both sporting new blogs. Of course, both of them are doing all the work while their husbands contribute in name only, so I’m not sure if it counts fully as a “couples” blog. But if the name is in the URL, it counts for me. Kevin and Guy might decide to contribute at some point, you never know. So, check it. I was thinking about this on the way to work this morning. Does that mean couple blogs are the new mommy blog? I really don’t think so because eventually most of these couple blogs will become mommy blogs. Don’t you think? But don’t worry y’all, I’ll still be here representing the single, bitter blog. It ain’t gonna end anytime soon. Not that I’m happy about that or anything. I’m just saying.

Leah posted a webcast this weekend and I’m in love with her voice…even though she’s been sick. It’s amazing how lovely she sounds. You should go listen to it if for no other reason than to just hear the mellifluous sounds of her speaking.

I kill flowers. Don’t give me any.

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Marshmallows are my kryptonite

I went to the gym today and ran 3.5 miles. I'll pause while you give me a virtual pat on the back.

My problem is that I love marshmallows. LOVE THEM. I normally don't have them within a ten mile radius of my house because I will eat them all in 30 seconds flat. I'm not sure why I like them so much. I think it's the light and fluffy nature of the insides combined with that slightly harder outside. And they're so white and sweet and kind of melt in your mouth, but not grossly. And you can just put a ton in your mouth and bite away and they love you no matter what. They really are just a little piece of jet puff heaven. I am a purist though. I like the classic white marshmallow seen here. None of this colored, different size mess. I want my classic white puffy goodness, people. And seriously, doesn't that photo make you want to dive into a pool of marshmallows and eat without abandon?


Just me?

Okay, then.

The reason I had access to the jet puff glory was because I forced BGF this weekend to make use of his s'mores fondue set he got for Christmas. For some reason, I decided that s'mores would just be perfect to go with college basketball on a Saturday afternoon. (Geaux Tigers!) It might have been because it was me and 3 boys and chocolate seemed close enough to estrogen for me.

They really were excellent, despite the fact that the tiny little blue flame kept catching the marshmallows on fire. Seriously, who would have thought that such a cute little flame could do so much damage? But I didn't really care because it's s'mores and I'm pretty much always happy when chocolate AND marshmallows are involved.

Unfortunately, we didn't use ALL of the marshmallows during our indoor camping experience. And you know what means. I ate ALL of the remaining marshmallows. ALL OF THEM. I couldn't stop. They were just sitting there. And they were so inviting with the their little coy little white innocence. It was like they were calling to me. And I cannot resist their siren song. Blast them!

So really, you shouldn't virtually pat me on the back. I went to the gym today out of necessity. Otherwise, my stomach is going to keep looking like a marshmallow. Ew.

Friday, March 17, 2006

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Parenthesis will one day rule the earth

Last night, I had a fascinating conversation with a guy from Germany who thinks I’m beautiful. And you’ve got to know I’m pretty easily swayed when someone says I’m pretty. You compliment my looks and you’re on my good side for life. I’m shallow and insecure like that.

(Side note: I just realized that by telling you this, I’ve just revealed the secret to my friendship with BGF. Oops. Sorry bucko.)

(Side note, part duex: Also, not standing me up is another key to my heart. Let me go on a completely unrelated and passionate tangent. I’ve gotten stood up by two different people for two different reasons and in two different situations in the last two weeks. What the hell? That’s got to stop. Being stood up sucks! Am I really that bad? No! A thousand no’s! I practice good hygiene and am capable of witty banter. That makes me awesome! I think this is part of some kind of karmic jokes for the times I’ve overslept and missed meetings, but…are you kidding me? Shut it, karma!)

So German guy was very kind and intelligent and wanted to know what books I’ve read and what authors I love and how I feel about Starbucks. It was a really enjoyable conversation and I found myself talking about college for the most part. I didn’t realize how far I’ve gone from sitting around and discussing essays to now sitting around and talking about American Idol. There’s nothing wrong with American Idol (Okay, there is A LOT wrong with American Idol, but it’s not inherently evil


Although I suppose that the argument could be made that it is evil. You know what? Bad example.)

Ok, so there’s nothing wrong with sitting around and talking about the less intellectual things in life and I pride myself on knowing things about baseball and cars and video games, but it’s so different from how I used to be. And I miss being able to read literature and then talk about how I loved it or hated it and why. I was a walking critical essay in college, which made me boring, yet well-informed. And I hate not being well-informed. I’ve run so far away from being an intellectual snob that I’m now an intellectual schlub. (Ohhh! That was great! Thank you! I’ll be here all week!) What I’m saying is that I want to be more well-rounded. I want to read more than Harry Potter. And I want to be able to have an intelligent conversation about politics and religion and culture.

So I’m glad I talked to German guy. He reminded me of a part of me I’ve been neglecting. I’m not saying it will be easy to be more well-rounded. He has the unfair advantage of working on two (2!) degrees at once and you are practically forced to read more when you’re in school. I don’t have the advantage of that atmosphere, so it’ll be difficult. But I like challenges and achieving goals. It’s what makes you a better person and gives you interesting stories to tell people who have just met you. Now, if only I can come up with a good plan of attack.

That being said, let me make this important announcement:

Everyone please stop voting for Kevin Covais. Let him go home. PLEASE.

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Of note:

1. I got Paris Bennet in the American Idol pool. I am SO screwed.

2. I did my taxes this week. And I’m not kidding when I say that that is a momentous occasion. This is HUGE. Me. Cora. It’s not even April yet! I can hardly believe it. I always, always, always procrastinate with the taxes. I am the girl who waits until April 14th and then freaks out. I’m sure you know people like this. The people who are perfectly aware that they need to get their taxes done, but oops, it’s the middle of April and they’ve lost their W-2’s! Yeah, I’m THAT person.

But even better than the fact that I am now a mature, responsible member of society, is the fact that I am getting a refund. A pretty good refund, considering I don’t make that much money. So now I’m all atwitter about what I’ve decided to do with my refund.

I’m getting a nano! Now before you go and try and make me rescind my earlier statement of being both “mature” and “responsible,” let me explain that I plan on using most of my refund on boring, yet necessary, things like paying bills. But my big splurge, my “Happy Refund to Me” gift, is a brand new beautiful iPod nano. I am so completely excited.

I decided to go with a new nano, instead of getting my old gigantic, dinosaur-like one fixed because BGF informed me that he thought I was an iPod killer. Apparently, I treat my iPods with tough love. And I am a “carry my iPod in my purse with me everywhere” and “oops, I dropped the iPod” and “fling the iPod around while I run” kind of girl. So he does have a point. He thinks a nano is more Cora-friendly because of the flash memory instead of a hard drive. Plus, it’s tiny and adorable. And who wouldn’t want a music player that’s the size of a pack of chewing gum AND a color screen?

3. I hate girls at the gym who 1) do not sweat, 2) bring a latte into the gym, 3) talk on the phone while "running" and 4) stand in the middle of the one walkway to the paper towels so that I can wipe off the machine I just used because it's embarassing enough that I sweat this much and there are mirrors EVERYWHERE, girlfriend, so I can totally see that snide look you just gave my fat ass. But at least my behind is covered where as your nasty cellulite-ridden self is hanging out for us all to see.

4. LSU and Arkansas are in March Madness! Goooooo SEC! I want them to do well so I can finally see some southern teams on my TV screen. I just printed out my bracket for this year. I will not win anything if I do a pool, but I feel as though I'm automatically cooler by printing upa bracket. I am also bummed because Ohio State is playing in my city and you have no idea how badly I want to go. Man, I love college basketball.

Monday, March 06, 2006

Awesomely Random

Unbeknownst to me, I boarded an emotional roller coaster last week. (Hence, the extreme lack of blogging.) Too bad it was a roller coaster and not just a steady uphill climb of happy Tom Westman-type meetings one after the other. (Not too sound too early ‘90’s on you here but, I did get to see him numerous times throughout the seminar and that man is FINE.) But alas, what goes up, must come down…and apparently, twist and turn and loopty loop as well. My main problem with all of this is that I can barely handle my emotions when I’m physically well, much less when I am sick. So when I started getting the nasty, icky, oogey feelings on Wednesday evening, I was pissed. I call foul on my body for allowing me to feel sick physically and emotionally. That’s just wrong. You hear me? Wrong! What is your deal, body!?

I went to the doctor Saturday morning and listened to people talk about their kids and their dogs and the traffic. It was either that or do the hustle, since it’s a Super 70’s Weekend! every weekend on Lite 99. Obviously, I went with the eavesdropping since I was feeling badly. Apparently, I need to procreate to fit in this town. Good thing I’m used to not fitting in. An entire life time’s experience of being an outcast has finally come in handy! I will not bow to the pressure to give birth so I can talk about how my snotty pre-teen is bigger and meaner and uglier than me! I will not!

The doctor was his usual helpful self (read: I love sarcasm!) and sent me away with antibiotics for my sinuses and a smile and a wink for my tummy problems. Apparently, there’s nothing he can do about the stomach. Which was the main reason I went. I was worried most about the fact that eating was not enjoyable. And when eating is not enjoyable, how can I deal emotionally? I can’t even work out when I’m this sick, for fear of puking at the gym. (Not that my gym isn’t used to me puking, but you know.) “Just take lots of Pepto and drinks lots of water and eat lots of bland food. It’ll work itself out in a day or two.” Yeah, a day or two. Whatever Dr. Blue Eyes, you who clearly got by on your good looks. This ain’t Grey’s Anatomy. You’re not gonna cure me by poking around my stomach and then running your hand through your great hair. Especially when you’re helpful advice that I’m paying you for is to drink fluids and take some Pepto. My mom could have told me that and the phone call to her would have been free and more compassionate.

Also, this just in: boys sometimes suck. Hard. (Notice how I said, “sometimes” instead of just making a blanket statement about all boys sucking all the time? I’ve totally grown as a person, y’all!)