Still Here

Nothing happening over here. I haven't progressed AT ALL since last Wednesday. We're thinking of inducing Thursday.

D Day

Well, here we are. It's my due date. No sign of actually having the baby or anything, but it's here! I feel like we should have a party or celebration of some sort. I mean, going into labor would qualify for that event, I think, but seriously? It's not happening. At least not right now. But we've got the whole day to go before I'm post term right?

Although, I hate BabyCenter because what was there little update today? "You did it! You have a baby!" What the what? They just completely bypassed week 40 of pregnancy. I know I'm not an anomaly. Lots of women go past their due dates. Why would they insult us by acting like we already have a child when really, we're still rolling around like big, giant whales? Jerks.

People who are better bloggers than me

Jonniker and Emily have both written posts in the last two days that have struck a cord with me and I just had to share them.

Jonniker talks about her pregnancy and it's like she went inside my brain and wrote the post for me. Except I haven't had my baby yet in order to say it will all be worth it. I sent the link to Alex whose immediate reaction was, "Wow. This sounds familiar." It's so refreshing to hear someone else who has been so miserable during pregnancy like I have been. (For the record, I have not cried EVERY SINGLE DAY during my pregnancy. I did not cry yesterday, I am pretty sure. So that is at least one day I haven't cried in the past 9 months. Yay?) It was also nice to hear that sleep can be better when you're not pregnant, even if there is a screaming newborn next to your bed. I can't tell you how many times I have wanted to yell, 'Shut up! Shut up! SHUT UP!' to people who have told me to sleep now because you won't when the baby gets here. Because seriously? It's not like I'm NOT SLEEPING FOR FUN. I am miserable and in pain and restless. So yeah, I don't have to get up for multiple feedings and soothings and diaper changes in the night. But I am currently having to get up to pee multiple times a night, plus I cannot roll over without having to count to three and crying in pain. I'll take the screaming newborn any day of the week if it means I can flop into bed and roll over like I used to. Honestly? At this point, I can't even remember what it was like to be not pregnant. I remember during those truly horrible first months that I thought I had ruined my life and was so incredibly angry at myself and Alex for getting pregnant. I couldn't imagine ever feeling okay again. I was sure, absolutely CERTAIN, that I was going to be sick for the rest of my life. The sickness has gotten better, but the limitations of pregnancy are still there and I still feel like I will never ever be ME again. That is a tough pill to swallow, my friends, and there have been many, many crying fits of rage as a result. And Jonniker pretty much said all of that, but better, and it's just so nice to know that you're not alone. That there's hope. That no really, I am still me and I'll feel like me SOON.

Well! That was a lot more than I meant to say!

Emily's post is completely different. She talks about how her husband likes to "teach a lesson" while driving. And y'all, I seriously thought I had married the only man in the world who did this. BUT I AM NOT. Other people's husbands do it too! I can't tell you how many fights Alex and I have gotten into because of his driving. He insists he's "teaching a lesson." I insist that he is "pissing off a potential crazy person." And yet he continues to insist that he is the better driver. :sigh: Boys.

In other news, I am no where near giving birth. There is nothing more disheartening than to feel like your private bits are being assaulted only to learn you are a measly 1.5 cm dilated. The doctor told me to go ahead and make an appointment Monday to see my regular doc who could discuss induction options with me. I'm not surprised by any of this, but still. Not what you want to hear, especially when she leaves with you the parting words of, "You'll probably experience some spotting after the exam." THANKS FOR HURTING ME FOR NOTHING.

In which I Babble Incessantly

Hi! Here's a totally unflattering picture of me!

(Note: Please do not click on this picture to make it bigger. MY FAT FACE WILL EAT YOUR FACE. IT IS COMING FOR YOOOOOOUUUUU!!!!!!)

This is what you wear to a career fair five days before your due date. I met with career services last week to discuss my resume and before I left, I posed the REAL question of the day...what do I wear? All of the literature recommended a suit and there was NO WAY I was purchasing a maternity suit for one day of use, five days before D Day. She recommended a business-professional looking shirt and to add a pearl necklace and earrings to make it look cuter. So, I still had to buy something, but it was way cheaper than a new suit. Although, it was painful to shell out money for another maternity shirt when I am soclose to being NOT PREGNANT ANYMORE, HALLELUJAH.

Also? The career services lady apparently told THE ENTIRE STAFF about me coming today, so when I checked in, the lady behind the computer was all, "Are you the girl whose 5 days away from her due date???" When I admitted to it, she and another lady went nuts making jokes and complimenting me. It was like I was famous. Although, best as I could tell, I was also the ONLY pregnant lady there.

So that's me. Fat and all at 39 weeks and 2 days. It's almost time. Our bags are packed (mostly...except for the zillion things I have listed as "last minute" on our packing list) and I am going to continue going into school to work on my internship until it is TIME. I also downloaded "99 Perfectly Relaxing Songs" for $.99 from Amazon today (Thanks Slickdeals!) to go on the iPod to play during labor. We're doing more laundry than I ever knew possible because I am desperate to get all the sheets! and pillow cases! and towels! clean. We also have an awesome new baby quilt that is getting washed AS WE SPEAK and dude, I need to remember to take a picture of it because it is so cute with the trains and the blueness and I sure do love knowing people who can sew. (Thanks Aunt Philly and family!)

I have no good way to end this post. It's like a status update with a terrifying picture. I hope that's okay. Because it's all I can do right now.

Edited to add: I actually put this outfit back on and took the picture about 10 minutes ago. My hair and make up looked better this morning, I promise. I just figured I should get a picture of me looking decent while pregnant when we still had the chance.

A Post with Pictures

So, no, I didn't take pictures of my mismatched shoes. Although I am proud to announce that I have successfully matched my shoes yesterday and today. I brought flip flops today as a back up and put them on around noon when my feet were swollen so hugely, they could barely fit into my shoe. And those matched too! Woo!

Anyways, here are the long awaited pictures of the nursery. Now, let me emphasize it is not super cute yet. We haven't ordered the wall decals, nor has my mother sent me the bumper pads, bedskirt, or curtains yet. But I am pretty confident that if I don't post these now, I never will. You know it's true. I can't even put matching shoes on in the morning.

First up, here are some blurry, not very great quality pictures of the bed skirt. The train is the long side and his name will be on the ends of the crib.



Here are the bumper pads. Aren't they cute? My mom has spent many, many, many, many hours sewing all of this stuff. I think one reason she hasn't sent these yet is because she doesn't want me to actually use them. That whole SIDS risk thing, you know? But I have to at least put them in for a little while and take pictures, right?


Ok! On to the items that are actually in our house. Here is the cute little cubby hole shelving unit we got form IKEA. We even have a few books for him on there. The red frames will have pictures of the grandparents holding their very first grandchild for the very first time.



Here is the crib. And yes, that adorable bag hanging from it is my diaper bag. Yay for Vera Bradley sales that I happened to find months ago! After the crib, there is a close up of the quilt and mobile. Again, the quilt is amazing and made by my mom. And frankly, I think the mobile is the most adorable thing in the ENTIRE WORLD.







Here's the glider and dresser/changer. The blanket on the arm of the glider was made by my friend Laura. It is so awesome and so soft.



Here's a close up of the basket on the changing table. It's nothing spectacular, but I liked this picture. My mother-in-law gave this to me at my shower and it's filled up with lots of baby-changing needs.



And there you have it! The nursery. It is mostly done. Alex did all the hard work of putting everything together and has been so kind as to put things away, as I sit in the glider with my feet up and point. So, I guess this means we're ready?

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!

One of those days...

I had to get up a little extra early this morning to ensure an on time arrival at school. Amazingly, I achieved this goal. I even got a decent parking spot and was where I needed to be in plenty of time. I sat down at my final destination, satisfied with my progress (and also panting, because three flights of stairs is, like, A LOT, right now) and happened to look down at my feet. And then I blinked. And I blinked again. Because, surely, mine eyes doth deceive me.

My shoes did not match.

Yes, you read that right. I was wearing two different shoes. A brown one. And a black one. At the same time. And I was in a classroom full of students and no phone to call for HELP.

You see, since it was so early, Alex and I didn't bother turning a lot of lights on this morning. Plus, it is super dark outside, so I couldn't really see what I was doing. And we basically do a shoe pile where all shoes go to rest. And my black "work" shoes and my brown "work" shoes are really similar as they are both kind of ugly, but very pregnancy friendly (flat, slip on, elasticized to accommodate ENORMOUS swelling). So this morning, I just slipped on what I thought were two brown shoes and out the door I went. WRONG.

But there was nothing that I could do and I had to get up in front of a classroom of high school students and talk. While wearing two different shoes. In their defense, they didn't say anything. This might have been because I was so flustered, that I kept saying the wrong thing and so they were really thinking, "Monday morning and we have to listen to this?" It was not my smoothest moment. Plus, I was totally sweating and a little out of breath from the three flight stair hike from earlier.

I called Alex a few hours later and told him my dilemma and he laughed and laughed and laughed. And I kept saying, "Stop it! It is NOT funny," even though I knew I was going to blog about this the second I saw that black shoe that did not belong. Alex was even kind enough to run home during his lunch break and bring me the proper shoe, so I didn't have to make it the entire day mismatched. No one said anything all day either, so I'm not sure if they just didn't notice or if they were all, "That poor little pregnant girl can't even see her feet well enough to put on matching shoes. Bless her heart."

:sigh: Tomorrow morning? I'm turning a light on to check the outfit before leaving the house.

Sorry for the Silence

Yes, yes, it's been a long time since I've blogged. I'm super busy and super stressed. Because of school and that whole, "I'm having a baby in less than 3 weeks panic." But fret not, I have not had the baby. The baby is still lodged inside my body doing weird rolling movements that remind me of an alien. My belly button is lopsided and weird and keeps teasing me like it's going to pop out and it doesn't. I am swollen and tired and cranky. This is not fun. Not that I ever thought that pregnancy was fun, but no really, IT IS NOT FUN. AM DONE NOW.

Alex and I are having the great diaper debate. Cloth? Disposable? Somewhere in between? Right now, we are leaning towards that last one. I'd prefer it if I could find someone who has actually used them. I've read some blogs of people who have used cloth diapers and they seem to like them. The problem with going whole hog cloth is that I am really grossed out by dirty diapers and we are lazy. Doing laundry EVERY SINGLE DAY, including a batch of pooped on diapers? No thanks! But then...I FEEL SO GUILTY ABOUT THE ENVIRONMENT. Not to mention that cloth diapers are cheaper, or so I've been told. Have you ever looked up the cost of cloth diapers? HOLY MOLY THEY ARE EXPENSIVE. But they last! A while! For hopefully more than one child! But then we'd have to pay attention and do laundry a lot and dear lord, I don't think I can possibly handle one more added responsibility right now. Which is why the earth friendliness of the gDiapers, combined with the ease of flushability is looking REALLY nice right about now.

(Do not worry, internet. We do own diapers. If the baby makes his grand entrance tomorrow, we are ready. But we certainly do not have a lifetime supply of diapers and we have our eyes on the future.)

See? I go away for two weeks and the best I can do is whine and talk about diapering systems. I am SO BORING now.