Merry Christmas a Teensy Bit Late

In case you haven't noticed, I'm on a Christmas hiatus. I've been so busy, I didn't get on the internet for 6 days. Six whole days! And I'll soon be heading off to the warm state of Louisiana and no internet access. I hope your holidays are going well.

I'm It

Jodi tagged me and I feel so special because I've never been tagged before. I think it's funny how memes have replaced those old e-mail 1000 question survey things. You know, the ones that everyone filled out and sent, but not before prefacing with "I was bored" or "You don't have to read it if you don't want." But really, they weren't bored and they do want you to read it, otherwise they wouldn't have taken the time to answer 1000 questions and then e-mail it to you. But I think that's good. It's fine and dandy to want to talk about yourself. That's how 1000 question e-mails and memes keep going. And I admit it, I love talking about me. Cora is awesome!

So this one asks for five little known facts about yourself. Here goes.

1) My dream job is to be a television recapper. I love TWoP and adore the recaps. And I can't imagine anything more fun than watching TV and getting paid for it. Especially when I then get to turn around and write more about it. This does make me a really big dork and I have to keep my funny little TWoP anecdotes to myself, otherwise people will realize I actually am a loser. But even my closest friends tire of me starting sentences with, "And the recapper said this...about that...and...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Can't you see the collective eye roll right now? God bless my friends.

2) I can't pronounce "meme." How the hell do you say that? I've tried every single variation I can think of and they all sound stupid. Consequently, I feel stupid for being unable to pronounce it.

3) I think glasses are like, SO sexy.

4) I enjoy reading reality TV "stars'" (and believe me, I do use that term loosely) blogs. There's something about them that I find fascinating. Probably appeals to that same part of me that likes to see train wrecks. This kind of goes back to the TV thing from number 1. If it wasn't for TWoP I wouldn't be able to find these people's My Spaces and Xangas and such. And it again makes me a total dork, no matter how bored I get on a Sunday afternoon. But I do! And I communicate! Oh yes. Sara from The 70's House? E-mailed her twice.

5) Apparently, I can't count. I just wrote "6," instead of 5. This fact was so little known, I didn't even know until just now. Feel special you were able to share this moment of realization with me as I close this list: I'm stupid and can't count.

Veggies Taste Better Fried

**Note: I did not actually post this on Monday. But I meant to, it was written and everything and then Panera Bread and Random Old Guy and Mario Party 7 got in the way. But I hate it when it looks like I've posted twice on one day, so I moved this one back a day so that the post before this one is on Tuesday alone. No, I'm not anal at all. Why do you ask?

I'm a big fan of "down home" cooking. "Southern" cooking, if you will. My mom's from Arkansas and my dad is from Louisiana. It's in my blood to eat fried chicken and mashed potatoes as often as possible. So don't judge me when I say that one of my favorite restaurants is Cracker Barrel. I'm not 80 years old and I like to think I'm not a hick. But I love, love, love biscuits and fried okra and hashbrown casserole and dumplings and sweet tea. LOVE IT. I could probably live off of that stuff, which is why I rarely go to Cracker Barrel. Just because it's called a Country Vegetable Plate, does not mean it's healthy. There's much more emphasis on the "country" than on the "vegetable" because at Cracker Barrel, "country = fried."

So Sunday night, I was ecstatic when my suggestion of Cracker Barrel was greeted with a hearty "OK!" from Anne, BGF, and random old guy we are still chauffeuring around. (And that's still a long story.) I was practically salivating from the thought of the Sunday special: Homestyle Fried Chicken with two sides. It's like heaven on a plate, people...all those fried starches just sitting there, begging to be eaten by me. :sigh: Just lovely. (And if you've never had fried okra, I highly recommend it. It was one of my favorite things my grandma would fix me when I was a kid. But be warned: try it fried before boiled. Because it spits when it's boiled and kinda creepy and not nearly as good.)

I looked up at one point, because even I need a breather when stuffing my face silly, and saw this girl being seated. She had on a navy blue sweatshirt with the words "Tiger Tennis" written on it. I'm insufferably nosy and continued looking at the Tiger Tennis sweatshirt, because it seemed...familiar. And what did I see written below it? "Ouachita Baptist University" I couldn't hardly believe it. I have never ever ran into another OBU student/alumni during my time in Ohio. Not that I'm surprised, or really that upset about it, but still. What in the world was a girl wearing an OBU sweatshirt doing in a Cracker Barrel on a Sunday night in Ohio?

BGF would NOT LET IT GO and so I went to talk to her before he somehow convinced random old guy to do the talking. Turns out she was a freshmen when I was a senior and played for two season with OBU. And she used to play tennis on the pro circuit. From what I gathered, she didn't graduate and is now living up here teaching tennis lessons. And no, I didn't ask for free lessons or something because the last time I played tennis, I cried because the gym teacher made me serve the ball until I could hit it onto the opposite and opposing court and it took me about 40 tries (and I'm completely not exaggerating on that number) and everyone sat there and watched and laughed and was embarrassed for me and then Brandy Price had the gall to say, "You did good," which made me cry even harder because she was lying and was normally kind of mean to me and then I knew she was pitying me and now I can't even play badminton without having a heart attack. So we laughed over the coincidence of seeing each other at a Cracker Barrel in Ohio when we had both attended a teensy spec of a school in southern Arkansas. I bid her a fond farewell and again congratulated myself on socializing with strangers.

So here's my moral of the story: go to Cracker Barrel whenever possible and look for fellow alumni. They might love fried okra too.

Learning Something New Today

I apologize to those of you who trudged through the previous post with all the grammatical and spelling errors. I just re-read and edited it about 50 times. Yes, I am an English graduate. And yes, Dr. Wink would be so proud.

I learned today that if you're a cheerleader in a white uniform and it's cold outside, you should really really really really consider getting a thicker sportsbra. Or wearing one period. Whatever. Because everyone can tell you're cold. And that's just embarassing. Especially when someone who blogs sees it and decides to put it on the internet.

Secondly, I dislike the Atlanta Bread Company and will not spend any of my hard-earned money there. Minestrone soup does not need noodles to compliment it's awesome minestrone-ness. It also does not need to be as thick as chili. Ever. That is the incorrect consistency for minestrone soup.

And finally, I learned a very important fact while editing the previous post. When I repulished and went to go back here to check my handiwork, I took a little detour. I always just type in "sa" in my URL box thingy and hit the down arrow button to come back here because I hate hitting the "View Blog" link on the published page. Don't ask me why. So I totally thought I had hit said down arrow button, but no! The URL blox only had "sa" in it! And I hate it when this happens because now my blog isn't the first one in the list and I'll have to type in "san" from now on and I cannot be bothered typing in an extra letter. That's entirely too much work. So as I was bemoaning the fact that my index finger would have to stretch to a new line on the keyboard, the page pulls up for "sa." And what do I find? Sexaholics Anonymous! So if you're ever looking for a little light reading on your way to the sand palace, there's a place to go.

A Completely and Totally Happy Post in which No One Dies or Loses Their Job

My car was on "E" yesterday and the stupid snow hit early and I didn't think I could make it to the gas station since everyone was leaving work like crazy hoping to not get stranded here. So the line out to the main road was out the wazoo and traffic on 75 was moving at a snail's pace. So I rode home with BGF and left my car at work. It took us over an hour to get to my place and we had to take this old man (LOOONG story) out to dinner and it was just so cold and miserable and white. At least we went to Panera and sat by the fire and ate broccoli cheese soup.

So today, I left work around 11:30 to go get gas so I could drive to work tomorrow and also to wipe the 6 inches of snow off my car. I get to Speedway and my gas door thing is frozen shut. So I went inside and asked the manager to come help me. He was REALLY nice and went and got this de-ice spray stuff and worked with it and finally got it open. So I'm pumping my gas and this dude drives up to the pump next to me and he immediately gets out of his gigantic stalker/rapist van and is like, "I hear it's going to warm up." (I'm assuming he said this because I was standing there by the gas pump looking mightily miserable in my pink snowflake toboggan.) And I laughed because I knew it was a joke, but he finished it with the punch line of "...in 5 months!" And I was like, "Whatever, he's kinda cute. Maybe he'll flirt with me!" And then he looks at the pathetic blue pile of junk that is my car and says, "Oooooorrrrrrshuuuuuuta? How do you say that!?" (I still have my OBU window sticker on the back of my car) and I'm like, "It's Wash-i-ta." And he was like, "Where is that at!?" And I told him "Arkansas. Which is where I went to school." And he asked me what brings me to Ohio and I tell him I work down the street at [totally censored company name here] and we [totally censored what goes on at said company]. And then he has to go inside because all the pumps are pre-pay now and I am going inside at the same time because I want coffee seriously badly. And he's like, "Well, welcome to Ohio." and I felt bad because I still have my Louisiana license plate on my car and that OBU sticker, combined with the fact that I look like I'm 18 and this guy thought I was just out of school and am up in Ohio for the first winter! So when he asked how long I had lived up here, I lied and said "2 years" when really it's been 3 1/2. And so I figured that was it and I was very proud of myself for socializing.

So I go back outside with my White Chocolate Caramel Cappuccino goodness firmly in hand and dude stops me. And he's like, "You seem to be a nice person with good character and outgoing...(and other complimentary things I don't remember)." And I kinda laughed because I always laugh when someone calls me outgoing because really I'm still a terrified 13 year old and I can't fathom the fact that people might see me as otherwise. And I was also weirded out by this guy and was like, "Is he a Mormon? Is he going to try and witness?" And then he said, "I run a couple of small businesses..." and I sorta tuned out because I was like, "I CAN'T BELIEVE HE'S A SALESMAN AND BEEN TRYING TO WORK ME OVER THIS ENTIRE TIME." But I caught stuff about internet and something and Barnes and Noble and something and would I be interested in making some extra money on the side? And I was like, "Um, maybe?" because I'm a total pushover and couldn't say no and so he gave me his card and I gave him my cell phone number and now I have to block him when he tries to call me so we will never ever ever "get together and chat for about 20 minutes." But he was cute and the last time I talked to a cute boy was approximately 1985 so back off about me giving my cell phone number to a complete and total stranger who drives a rape van!