Saturday, April 26, 2008

Still Breathing

I have survived the week...barely. I came home from work last night and immediately went straight to bed. I started reading my new book club book (I haven't updated the side bar in a while. My bad. I know y'all were all wondering why on earth I haven't finished reading "Oil!" yet. Probably because I stopped reading it in order to read last month's book, which I didn't even bother putting on the sidebar. Because I am together.), ate some dinner, and fell asleep. And lo, it was glorious.

(Could that parenthetical aside have been any longer? Geez.)

I have only one more assignment left for this semester and then I get an entire week free before summer school starts. Yippee. It's a bit anti-climatic when you only get a week off, but I am planning on sucking the marrow out of that one week.

Also? That last post? Totally a product of my vision statement for my leadership class. Yes, I get angst-y writing about myself. No one ever said I wasn't an emotional ball of wonder. (I have got a lot of guilt, ok? A LOT. You can't be an only child from a strong Southern Baptist family and not come out with suitcases and suitcases of guilt. Like, TRUCKLOADS of guilt. I know my Catholic friends all think they have this guilt complex thing in the bag, but have I got news for them. We Southern Baptists have gotten the guilt thing down to an art.)

(Don't judge me!)

(Or my parenthetical asides!)

But! My life rules. And so there's no reason for me to wallow, wallow, wallow, when I can live, live, live instead. Which is my plan. And so far, that plan is going smashingly well. I've got a cookout tonight at Seth's house, which he posted about as well. Incidentally, he said that we are going to eat like kings. What he doesn't know is that Alex and I are bringing a pasta salad that will take a good 2-5 years off of our lives. However, it will be worth it, because a life without bacon is not a life worth living.

Also happening this weekend? Project Paint-The-Kitchen-Already-You-Lazy-Bums. We've had the paint in our possession for months now. MONTHS. And still haven't painted. So I'm telling the internet in the hopes that will motivate us to stop looking at the paint and start using it. Plus, that gives me an excuse to post pictures and that way you don't have to read all of these word-like things that I sort of post coherently.

(I *heart* bacon!)

Monday, April 21, 2008


I think the guilt that weighs me down is going to rise up and swallow me whole.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Oh, Holy Crap

I am a moron. A complete and total moron. Why have I not kept up to date with my assignments this semester? Why? WHY???? I have spent all day alternating between working on school work and reading Amalah's archives. (Guess which I probably spent more time doing. Go on. Guess!) (Also, why have I not linked to her yet in my sidebar? Who knows! It's probably in the same part of my brain that thought I'd be okay with not doing journal entries for entire months at a time and now am faced with the task of backlogging them because they are due on THURSDAY.)

On the bright side, I have four out of seven assignments done for this week. That is over half! Woo! Too bad the most difficult and time consuming ones are NOT done. GREAT.

How did I make it through undergrad? How? Was I smarter then? It must have been because I didn't have a boyfriend. Like, seriously, that has to be it. Because I am looking back on my 18-21 year old self and I think that self needs to chill out and have some fun, because SERIOUSLY.

Although props for not waiting until the weekend before the last week of classes to do EVERYTHING DUE THE ENTIRE SEMESTER.

So, on second thought, way to go 18-21 year old self! But, please, go put some make up on and buy a shirt that's not a t-shirt, get some confidence, and TALK TO PEOPLE. It'll help a lot once you reach the 22-26 year old portion of your life.

Your Moronic 27 year old self

Thursday, April 17, 2008

An Update about that Whiny Post Down Yonder

So I totally went for a run and it was fairly successful. I won't say it was a complete success, because I miscounted TWICE and skipped two full minutes of running. However, I only felt like I was going to die once! So...woo!

I would also like someone to help me overcome my addiction to Leona Lewis' "Bleeding Love." It's just so darn catchy. I can't stop listening! It's taking over my life! My liiiiiife!!!!!!

Crazy in the Head

Tuesday, in a fit of what can only be described as MASSIVE INSANITY, I volunteered to run in a 5K this weekend. Yes, you read that correctly. I volunteered on TUESDAY for a 5K THIS SATURDAY. Tuesday!

(And since I really enjoy torturing myself, I also signed up and paid actual money IN ADVANCE to run another one in May. (Which is for a worthy cause, by the way. The Humane Society is a fantastic organization, in which 1/4 of this family was raised in, and my twenty dollars is a pathetically small donation to such a great cause. The issue is not the money. The issue is that I thought I would want to run a freaking 5K in a month's time.)))

I go through these phases of athletic activity where I get really motivated and buy new work out clothes (mostly socks because I lose those those faster than I blink) and make lofty weekly goals. I am entering one of those phases. The problem is that these phases generally last only a week. Or two.

Back in 2006, I joined a gym for the first time and I diligently went for several months. I picked a facility close to my apartment and went everyday after work. I began watching what I ate and made conscious efforts to work off extra calories. I lost 17 pounds. And it felt amazing. My weight loss also upped my self-esteem in a tremendous way and I was so pleased with my commitment. I could do anything! I was super woman!

And then I met Alex.

And you all know where I am going with this. I fell in love and everything in the world was full of roses and sunshine and kisses and why would I go the nasty old gym and torture myself when I could snuggle? (Snuggling is pretty much ALWAYS the answer, particularly when the alternative is something related to the concept of work.) He loved me for who I was! He thought I was beautiful and perfect! Just! The! Way! I! Was!

Gah, I don't know why I ever felt like that was justification to drop the gym altogether and then eat anything and everything in sight. Because now? Now I am in a constant state of flux with my weight. I've fallen back into my old eating habits and when I look at myself in the mirror, I have a strong urge to vomit all over the place, because my god, have I gotten fat. It doesn't help that I live with a man who has zero idea of what healthy eating consists of, nor does he particularly care. Sure he tries, but why then there are nights like tonight where I'm hungry and tired and he's on his way from work and calls me to suggest that we should just have fried chicken tonight. We haven't eaten it in really loooong time and we'll go to the gym tomorrow and you're super skinny baby, I swear!

So back and forth I go. And I get so frustrated with myself that I can't just put the damn fork down and get in the gym. It's such a simple concept and one that is easily achieved. And yet, here I sit, letting the FRIED CHICKEN digest, while I write a whiny post complaining about my weight. I've got athletic shorts and a work polo on. I've got clean socks on the desk and my running shoes are...somewhere. (Alex is mowing the lawn because is the most awesomely awesome man who ever awesomed.) And instead of stretching or, I don't know, working on the seven assignments that are due next week (HOLY CRAP I'M GOING TO DIE), I continue to surf the internet, and listen to iTunes, and play Spider Solitaire. Why? Because it's easier than being active. And sometimes, I really, really, really hate that about myself.

But oh my god, those mashed potatoes tonight were AMAZING.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Are You Kidding Me, or Dell Still Sucks

So Dell? Still sucks.

Alex sent a bunch of polite, angry e-mails proclaiming his lack of satisfaction with the way Customer Service handled the whole Let's-Cancel-Your-Order-And-Not-Tell-You thing. He was told by one customer service rep that they will only take fifty dollars off the price because Dell is not responsible for typos on their own website.

He also called in to talk to someone today and was told that they were out of stock of the camera, so you're out of luck, sucker. The customer service rep insisted that they had proof of the camera being out of stock, because CANON ITSELF was out of stuck. She told him to go look at a particular link on Canon's website to see for himself. So he did. And guess what? Canon has the camera! In stock! After he hung up with this extremely helpful lady, Alex called Dell and asked if he could order an XTi and could it ship soon? Sure they can help him! Because the camera is IN STOCK.


I can't figure out for the life of me why they didn't just honor the price the first time around, apologize for the error, and move on.

In other news, I can't get Leona Lewis' "Keep Bleeding" out of my head. Except that I keep confusing her with Mariah Carey, even though they don't sound very much alike. I guess it's because Mariah is on American Idol tonight and I am dreading it because it sounds like this can only end in heartache.

I still hate Dell.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Dell Sucks

Hi. I am here to tell you that Dell sucks. Here is why.

A few weeks ago, Alex and I purchased a Canon EOS XTi from Dell. They had it for a great deal and it was kind of a spur of the moment decision. We've been checking everyday on the website since then to see when they would ship our camera.

This morning, they said our order was cancelled.

Alex called customer service, where he was passed around and told that the camera was defective. He asked to be transferred to someone who could help him get a new camera and he was transferred to sales support. There, a woman told him that he could re-order the camera, no problem. It would just cost $110 more.

Alex, of course, said that no, he wanted to purchase the camera for the price that he had originally paid. (Note: We haven't actually PAID for it yet, because we got a discount using Dell's credit service. We already own a Dell laptop.) The lady put him on hold and when she returned, she told him that marketing made a mistake on the price and that he would have to pay the new price if he wanted the camera. Alex protested that he had made this order a week ago and went through the entire check out process without a hitch. The lady apologized and offered him $100 in Dell Bucks if we purchased the camera for the new, bloated price. Not $110 Dell Bucks, but $100. That didn't even cover the difference in cost.

So, in conclusions, Dell sucks. They allowed us to purchase the camera at a specific price and then a week later, cancelled the order without any warning. We were told two different reasons for the cancellation and then that they would not compensate us for the difference in price.

Also? Alex's flight got cancelled. He's not coming until tomorrow afternoon. Don't even get me started. The fact that I just typed this while remaining calm is a testament to the power of Diet Coke and Mexican Chicken Tortilla Soup.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

A Leetle Bit Calmer

So, I found my source. Ahem. It turned out fine. Yes. Perhaps I overreacted just a wee bit. A wee, wee, wee bit.

Anyways, I have started reading Amalah and it is ruining my life. Why? Because all I do is read it. Instead of writing papers and vision statements and interviews and journal entries. And then, THEN, I get on the computer and IM Alex about how I need to get pregnant. Like. NOW. And since Leah just announced her pregnancy today, I have a feeling he might as well just start blocking me on Google Talk. Because all I want to talk about are the babies, the sweet, sweet babies and how my eggs are like, mega freaking old, and my body is all, 'HELLO! GET PREGNANT NOW!' and how wouldn't it be the greatest to be parents???? WOULDN'T IT???? Yes it would! It would be the greatest! So impregnate me, DAMMIT.

And then I hear a kid cry in the store and think, 'THANK GOD I don't have a baby.' And then I plan imaginary purchases and vacations in my head and think, 'We HAVE to do that before we have a baby. THANK GOD we don't have a baby yet.'

Nobody can ever accuse me of being fickle. No sirree. Not me. Also? Not emotional.

But Bell is pregnant now too and we could swap stories and maybe she'd finally start a freaking blog of her own and we'd tag team on pregnancy stories and then baby stories and secretly compete on whose kid is the cutest and it'd be the BEST.EVER.


I'm a little stressed out. Is that obvious? No? Good!

And I might possibly be going crazy and I need Alex back in this state as soon as possible. Did I mention he's not here? Because he's not here! He's in Texas! The state that guarantees you will never ever leave because American is cutting all of their flights. Just like they already screwed with our flight that we booked last week to go to Dallas in June. June! They're cutting flights in June! And they're also assuring that anyone who might want to go from San Antonio to Columbus, can't do that and if he does not come back tomorrow night, I will have to lose it all over the place because there is school and there are dogs and there are in-laws and there are my parents who don't think I love them. I cannot handle this! CAN.NOT.HANDLE.THIS.

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Inspiration? Psssh

I have a paper due in a little over an hour. I feel pretty good and about it and am ready to print it. Except for one teensy little problem: I cannot find a THIRD source. I have the text, my personal communication, but I need ONE MORE SOURCE TO FINISH THIS PAPER AND SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS NO OTHER SOURCE IN MY CAREER DEVELOPMENTAL PATH, OKAY!? AAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I idea. None. I am stumped. Honest to goodness stumped. The good news is that the bubble bath and freshly painted toes are nice. The bad news is that they did not inspire me nor did they calm me down. Because.I.Still.Have.No.Third.Source.

You'd think a professional academic and bullshitter like myself would be able to come up with a third source. Well, you'd be wrong. And I am FREAKING OUT. An hour and ten minutes to go and nooooooo ssssssoooooooouuuuuuurrrrrrcccccccceeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!