Mr. Clean

Well, that was fun. Sunday afternoon we lost power, along with another 180,000 people in our city. We were lucky and got ours back Monday afternoon. So we went only about 24 hours in the dark. My brother and sister-in-law are still without power. Since SUNDAY. Which is insane. It was so weird because it's not like there was a big storm. It was just a lot of wind. No rain. No lightning. Just wind, wind, wind.

But! Lack of power is an EXCELLENT excuse for not blogging! Certainly better than my usual "I'm siiiiiiiiick" excuse. Which...holy cow, am I ever sick. I have a sinus infection/allergic reaction/cold thing going on that has completely knocked me off my feet. I had a spectacular breakdown of epic proportions last night and I may or may not have scared the crap out of Alex with my wailing.

I am also just a teensy bit emotional.

So here's the thing. Alex has many, many qualities that are amazing and wonderful, but being a good cleaner is not one of them. His brand of cleaning involves wiping down a counter with water only and going, "Eh, good enough." And I know this about him. I went into this marriage fully understanding that he can't (or won't) clean. The first time I ever came over to his house (now our house), he proudly announced he had cleaned. And I saw all of this...stuff...everywhere and right then, I knew. This man is not a cleaning man. Which is FINE. He is a cooking and a laundry man, so really, it's not like I got the shaft here.

Except that now I can't clean. I've been sick for almost two months now. (Two months! BabyCenter said I should be feeling fine and regaining my appetite now. Suck it BabyCenter!) Which means I don't do anything. I lay in bed. I eat. I cry. I sleep. Everyday. Notice how "I clean." wasn't listed among those statement. Gagfest 2008 has prevented me from cleaning, much less CARING about cleaning. So that has left the bulk of the housework duties to poor, poor Alex. Which means the house is, in a word, disgusting. I'm not knocking Alex. Please understand me. He is doing a phenomenal job of taking care of me and the dogs and the house and the HUGE TREE that fell in our backyard (which...we have amazing friends who came over last night and helped move all that crap while our neighbor, WHO IS THE OWNER OF THE TREE, just sat and watched) and working full time and shuttling me around to various classes and appointments. He is AMAZING. He is also busy. He also hates cleaning. Cleaning has gone out of the window.

And that is the point of this post. Our house is gross. I could have just written that and saved you all a lot of time and energy. But instead you read the word "clean" a lot and realized that our house is not. There is crap everywhere. It smells. I am appalled by it, yet not motivated enough to do anything other than gag and run back upstairs.

Last night during Super Meltdown #37 of 2008, I was so miserable and all I wanted was my mom. And finally Alex asked, "If your mom came would she, like, clean the house?" And when I said, "Yes," I am SHOCKED that he did not immediately pick up the phone and call her. Maybe he waited until I fell asleep. But I won't be surprised if one of our moms shows up this weekend to help their poor, decrepit children clean their house. We need our mommies and we are about to be a mommy and daddy ourselves. Holy COW are we not prepared.