Seven Quick Takes

1. Potty training is going much better today. Yesterday was awful again (Alex got peed on 3 times just while I was at the doctor), but we started to see a little progress last night. And then Jack woke up this morning telling us he had to go. We have had an accident-free morning and I'm hopeful that we've turned the corner. It's certainly been nice not having to clean up pee all day today.

2. The 3 day potty training method sort of worked, but I'm not sure it was the best method for us. We kind of had to force him to go, which is very much against what the book says. We also discovered that the reward system has very little impact on Jack...he could care less about sticker charts or jelly beans, and that's the BIG thing in the book. I'm still glad I bought the book because it did have some good tips in it, but we definitely had to do things differently than her prescribed method in order to see any results.

3. The book did recommend getting a Baby Bjorn potty chair and I second that recommendation. We already had a cheap one that I bought at Toys R Us a long time and it's kind of terrible. It doesn't stay together and the pee goes into the bottom part, so you have to take it apart every time to clean it and dump out the top and bottom and it's just a headache. The Baby Bjorn is SUPER easy to clean up and is much sturdier. We were a little worried at first because Jack doesn't like to sit on it...but it turns out he doesn't like sitting on the either one of them, so the Baby Bjorn wins.

4. So as I mentioned the other day, I'm 36 weeks pregnant now. Which means we are at the point of no return. I am having this baby if I go into labor. So far, there is no indication that that is going to happen, but I always feel a slight panic when I reach this point in pregnancy because it all becomes very real, very fast. We could have a new baby today! It's an actual possibility! Maybe I should pack a hospital bag! And now I have extra things to worry about like, who's going to watch our child that's already out of the womb? I wake up worrying about this around 3 am every morning. It makes for a very restful night's sleep.

5. I got a Fitbit for Christmas and I'm really enjoying it so far. I really wish there was some option to let it know that I'm massively pregnant and not just a big, lazy couch potato, though. It's also been interesting tracking my sleep, because lo, I am inefficient at sleep these days. I think I'll like it even more after I've recovered from having the baby and able to exercise regularly again. Right now, I log in and laugh at how short I fall at all of my activity goals everyday.

6. You know what show I'm really into right now? Storage Wars. My sister-in-law watched it while she was here over Thanksgiving and now I'm totally addicted. We will DVR it and then watch 3 or 4 episodes in a row because I always want to know what they're going to find next. We've also started watching Storage Wars: Texas which has the added benefit of being in places we actually know. The first episode took place at a storage facility that Alex has been to. And they also went to the Cavender boots in Plano that we drive by often.

7. I think I'm going to take a nap now. I've been taking full advantage of Alex being home this week because I know my nap times will be short to non-existent here in a few weeks. Good night!

Blergh

So how was your Christmas? Ours was fine. I had a really rough time of it this year. I've been missing my grandmother A LOT and it just didn't "feel" like Christmas since we weren't in Louisiana. (Plus, I am just TIRED and BIG and ready to be done with this pregnancy.) Despite my difficulties this month, Christmas Day went better than I thought it would. My parents drove us (slightly) less crazy than usual and Jack handled everything pretty well. I think he definitely had a good Christmas and that was the most important thing to me.

But that's not why I'm posting. We decided that a good time to potty train was this week. It made sense BEFORE we did it because we're 3 weeks from the new baby and Alex is off of work. We're doing the 3 Day Potty Training method and as of right now, I hate it. We finished Day 2 today and it has been AWFUL. Like, really, really, really awful. I don't want to go into detail because I'd like for Jack to not resent me when he's a grown up for posting about his potty training experience on the internet. But oh man, do I need a vacation.

I have to leave Alex alone with him tomorrow morning for a good 2 hours or so for my 36 week (!) check up and I'm kind of desperately hoping it will click while I'm gone and when I come home, he'll magically understand how to go in the potty.

HAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I know! Let's hope we survive the rest of the week, shall we?

Advent

Hey! So it's been...6 months. What have I not told you? We bought a house. We moved to Dallas. Oh, and I got pregnant. Scheduled C Section on January 17th, so we're a mere 6 weeks away from becoming a family of four. Surprise! I could probably say more about this, but who cares? Let's talk about Christmas!

So I'm doing an advent calendar this year with Jack. I didn't bother with one last year because he was only 20-ish months old and I didn't think he'd get the concept. Honestly, I wasn't so sure he'd get the concept this year either, but I figured I should start NOW in order to set the tradition. It should be good practice for next year when he'll be 3.5 and hopefully really into Christmas.



And since this was just a practice one, I didn't go all out. I used yarn I already had. I bought Christmas cards from the dollar bin in Target and got some stickers and cheap markers. As you can tell from the photo above, there's also only 9 envelopes. This is because the blasted thing will not stay UP. Alex and I have had to hang that string up a bazillion times. It's beyond annoying. I think I've finally got it secured enough with 3 of those little sticky patch things on each side (Again, we already had these laying around the house. I was going to use push pins but, surprise! We can't find them.) I have since added bows to cover up the ugly patch stuff, but haven't tried adding any more envelopes. I also didn't want to string anything lower because I was afraid Jack would just rip it all down. Also? Let's be honest, he doesn't care. AT ALL.

Here's my list of activities. You'll notice that we have "Read a new Christmas book!" several times because I bought 5 of them from the Scholastic order form at his school and have been saving them. I tried to use those on school days when he'd already have a bunch of stuff going on. I also cheated and used his Christmas program and party for school as activities even though those were going to happen anyway.

1 Read a new Christmas book!
2 Color in a new Christmas coloring book
3 Read a new Christmas book!
4 Visit Santa
5 Make an ornament
6 Read a new Christmas book!
7 Shop for a gift for cousin Abby
8 Go to the Christmas program at school
9 Buy a toy and drop it off for Toys for Tots
10 Go to a Christmas concert
11 Go see the Christmas trains
12 Make a Christmas decoration
13 Read a new Christmas book!
14 Make a Christmas card
15 Go to the Christmas party at school
16 Watch a Christmas movie
17 Bake and decorate sugar cookies
18 Read the Christmas story from your Bible
19 Make a gingerbread house
20 Read a new Christmas book!
21 Make an ornament
22 Go on a car ride to look at Christmas lights
23 Drink hot chocolate and eat a candy cane
24 Open one gift tonight
25 Merry Christmas!!!

I'm probably going to change up the order on some of these, depending on how the day is going and if we need to mix stuff up. I have yet to procure a Christmas movie, so feel free to suggest something a 2.5 year old boy who can't even finish the movie Cars and hates Toy Story might enjoy.

So how has it gone so far? Okay. Day 1 was a total bust. He was tired and grumpy by the time we got to open the envelope and he refused to unwrap the book (this one). He wasn't interested in reading it AT ALL and flipped through it quickly. I'm hoping he'll be more interested in it as the month goes on. Day 2 (today) went a lot better. He has REALLY been into coloring lately, so I was hoping a new coloring book would be exciting. And it was! Thanks dollar bin at Target!

Father's Day

Alex is an incredible father.

He gets up with Jack in the mornings. He puts him to bed. He gets up with him in the middle of the night (yes, still). He takes Jack to the pool every other day. He wrestles and tickles and chases. He makes peanut butter and jelly sandwiches all the time. He changes diapers and clothes and gives baths. Whenever Jack is being cute, Alex always turns to me and says, "I love him."

Jack adores him. He always smiles and giggles and yells, "Dada!" when he sees him. They're buddies. It's so cute to see how much they love each other and how they always hang out.

I love you honey. Thank you for being such a great dad.

It'd be really great if I had a picture of them to put here but I can't find a decent one of them from recently and the ones we took today are okay but Jack was not cooperating, so just trust me that they're cute and red headed together.

Books! Again!

Nothing gives me more of a thrill than a fresh pile of books I'm excited to read. As I mentioned on Sunday, Alex got me an Amazon gift card for Mother's Day and I have already spent it. I got Tina Fey's Bossypants, which was the first book I thought of when I opened the card. It's a little pricey since it's so new, so I figured that's a good use of gift money. I also got Heaven is For Real, which I had heard of recently. It's about a 4 year old boy's experience in heaven while he was having emergency surgery. I don't know about you, but I've ALWAYS been fascinated by those "dead for a minute/got to see heaven" kind of stories.

I also sucked it up and paid my (huge) library fine today because Jack was OBSESSED with Ten Black Dots this morning. I have no idea what got his attention about this book, maybe his current fascination with counting? But it became obvious we weren't going to leave the library without either 1) the book or 2) a fit. I decided to suck up my pride and pay the ridiculously huge fine and let him take the book home. What kind of mom would I be if I denied him a book just because I'm a cheapskate? So I paid the fine, renewed my library card (which had, uh, expired), and checked the book out.

After he went down for his nap, I went BACK to the library by myself (the joys of having your spouse work from home!) and got three books for me. Life of Pi, Tinkers, and Dead in the Family. I got Life of Pi thanks to a blog post shared by Mrs. G that mentioned it as one of their top 10 books ever. I grabbed Tinkers because it's a Pulizter Prize winner and supposedly beautifully written (and horrible depressing). And Dead in the Family? Well, it's Sookie. What can I say?

Oh! I almost forgot. I found A Thousand Splendid Suns at Half Price Books on Mother's Day for 6 bucks. So that's on my To Read list as well. What's on yours?

Mother's Day

I hope y'all had a great Mother's Day and/or treated your mother to a great day. Alex and Jack gave me an Amazon gift card and a certificate good for guilt free Starbucks and Kindle time for Momma. What, what? Starbucks better watch out cause this Momma is coming for a skinny vanilla latte and a comfy chair!

My mom was here this weekend, so it was nice to spend the day with her. What was not so nice is that she's sick and I had to clean up her puke last night. I feel like we've come full circle in our relationship, now.

I'd show you some pictures but I think they're still on the camera and Alex is putting Jack to bed and that trumps getting pictures off the card. For now, I'll leave you with a picture of why I got to celebrate today.

Random Monday

Here's a couple of things I meant to share on Friday and then, uh, didn't.

- Have you heard Adele's latest CD, 21? It's AMAZING. If you haven't heard her "Someone Like You," here's a video of her singing it live. She sounds so flipping amazing live, it is RIDICULOUS. I'd give my left arm to sing like that, yo.



- And speaking of singing live, you've seen Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Fallon's "Friday" right? Right? I'm sure you have. But I bet you could use a pick me up right this second, so here it is:



Alex and I have watched this HUNDREDS of times now. HUNDREDS. We randomly sing it throughout the day and Jack will even sing "Friday! Friday!" It's just so fun and about 1000 times better than the original. (If you don't know the back story behind this version or if you've never heard Rebecca Black's Friday, let me know! It's way funnier once you know the whole story behind the video.)

- I'm in a book reading rut. I have tried to read Upton Sinclair's Oil! for years now and it's just not happening. I read about half of Room the other night and I can't get up the motivation to read the second half. I even got our book club book last week and can't seem to get the energy up to read it. I need some book reading motivation, stat.

- I've managed to mess my shins up quite spectacularly. They constantly hurt, so I've been using an exercise bike at our apartment complex's workout facility. It's quite possibly the most boring work out ever. I'm wondering if it's time for new shoes? And how much longer I have to ride the bike? Because I miss running and I really miss running outside. We even bought a jogging stroller! And we've used it once because I couldn't even finish the inaugural run with it. I feel like a running wuss.

Two!

Zero

One

Two

Happy Birthday, sweet boy. I love you more than you can even imagine.

Seven Quick Takes - April Fools Edition

1. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not a fan of April Fool's Day. Probably because I'm gullible. Please, be nice to me!

2. I've started a beginner runner training program in the hopes of increasing my speed. I walked/jogged outside the last two days since the weather has been so nice. I tried a new trail yesterday and it was WAY more hilly than I was expecting. And now my shins are KILLING me. KILLING. ME. Like, I thought they were going to snap in half yesterday. Treadmills make you soft, man.

3. Speaking of shin splints, Alex informed me yesterday that he's only gotten them ONCE in his life. Once! I've gotten shin splints my ENTIRE life. (I over pronate like a mug, yo.) I can't imagine an exercise life shin splint free. It must be awesome. And a lot less painful!

4. My mom is making me a memory quilt from some of my grandmother's old clothes. She's been working on it for a few weeks and I'm really excited to see it. I'll be sure to post pictures when I get it.

5. Allow me to complain for a second. So we cloth diaper up in this house, but the 2 that Jack uses overnight are starting to stink. They're by the same company, a Swaddlebees and a Blueberry, and their website was USELESS about making the smell go away. (Their solution? You're probably using too much detergent. Or maybe too little. I dunno.) So I tried stripping them yesterday and I don't think it worked. It's really annoying because our other diapers, Fuzzibunz, won't make it all night. And I don't want to drop the cash for disposable overnight diapers.

6. Jack hates it when I sing to the songs on TV. He'll turn to me and go, "Mama? No." They grow up so fast!

7. Birthday 2.0 preparation is well under way. I ran out of wrapping paper yesterday, which is dangerous because that means I need to go to Target again and that means I'll probably find something else that Jack "needs" for his birthday. I have no birthday self control!

Big Guy

Jack is going to be 2 on Sunday. TWO! It doesn't seem even possible that my sweet baby boy is going to be two entire years old, and yet here we are. Presents have been ordered. Cupcakes are being contemplated. (I'm thinking Funfetti.) And plans are being made. We're not doing a big party because we just don't know enough people around here to call it a party. My parents are coming in town and we're going to go somewhere fun (Maybe Tinytown?) and let him play and run and eat cupcakes and open presents. I'm bringing (more) cupcakes to Parents' Day Out the next day so he gets to celebrate with his friends there as well. Two days of birthday fun! I bought a Birthday Boy shirt a few months ago and it's hanging in his closet, raring to go. We're all ready.

Except I'm kind of not.

Two years is no longer a baby. Granted, one year old isn't technically a baby either, but I figured I could fake it one more year. He was still wobbly on his feet and so squishy with his baby fat. He was still my sweet little baby, gosh darnit. But I can't really say that anymore. He's my sweet little BOY now. And he's great. Don't get me wrong. He is so much fun. He yells and talks and laughs and claps and marches and kicks and spins in circles. And he always wants me to do it with him. We draw with chalk and stack blocks and play choo choo trains and blow bubbles. He likes to sing songs and play with stickers and tear apart play doh. I don't see how it's possible for him to get more fun or cute or likable.

But, oh, my heart aches when I think of what a little baby he used to be. How time has gone by so very quickly. I can't hold him anymore. He doesn't need me to hold a bottle or give him a paci or hand him a toy or carry him around. He can do that all on his own, thank you very much. He has no time for cuddles when there is so! much! to! do! And I love that he's so big and strong and excited. I'm so thrilled to see him discover the world. But can't we wait on that a little bit longer?

We can't wait. I know. He's a big boy NOW. He's growing up NOW. Right before my eyes. And it's been such a privilege, such an honor to get to know this boy. I can't wait to see the man he grows up to be.



The shirt doesn't lie. He's a big guy.

Books!

My goal is to read 52 books this year. So far I've read 15, which hardly seems fair since over half of those are Charlaine Harris books. But Sookie counts, man. Sookie counts.

In fact, I didn't read a book that wasn't about vampires or parenting until last week.

There's not much to say about all of the vampire books, is there? You either like them or you don't. I happen to like them. Well, most of them. Some of them aren't so great, especially Dead and Gone which was simply atrocious. But I'm committed to the Sook and I'll read the next few and hope they keep getting better.

Same thing with the Blue Bloods series. I will keep reading them until they get so bad I can't stand them anymore. This last one was wildly uneven, but it was a million times better than the one BEFORE that, which I suspect was actually written by a robot.

I've read two (non-vampire) YA books so far. Al Capone Does My Shirts and Speak. Spoiler for the Book Club - I really liked Al Capone. Really cute and really fun to read. I just finished Speak today and I'm still processing it. It was fine but I'm not sure I liked it. At least, not yet. I still need to think about it.

The three parentings books I've read are The Happiest Toddler on the Block, Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood, and Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline. I'm not linking to those because they are boring and I doubt you will care. I really didn't like The Happiest Toddler on the Block, but the other two were pretty great. They both had overlapping ideas that I think will serve me well as I bumble my way through parenting an almost 2 year old.

The main reason I wanted to post was to tell you about The Kite Runner. It was FANTASTIC. Far and away my favorite book I read this year. And definitely one of my favorite books ever. We're talking top 5 favorite right here. While I was reading it, I wasn't sure if I liked it or not. The story is dark and it can be really difficult to read because it's so incredibly sad, but unlike other sad books (*cough* Little Bee *cough*), I didn't want to bleach my brain and forget all about it. I wanted to know more about Afganistan. I wanted to spend more times with the characters. I was heartbroken at some of the tragedy in the book and cried at least 3 times. The story has stuck with me and I keep going back to it. Hosseini's style is really simple and clean. He's not as much of a minimalist as say, Hemingway or McCarthy, but there's not a whole lot of flowery language here. It's straightforward and just plain GOOD. I bought it on a whim for one dollar at Half Price Books because we've had the movie in our Netflix Instant Queue for months now, just waiting to be watched. And it was BEYOND worth it. The best dollar I have spent in maybe ever. The fact that Hosseini can get a little white girl in Texas invested and empathic with a bunch of male Afghani Muslims is a testament to his writing abilities. I cannot recommend this book enough.

I've got a few books lined up that should last me through the end of March. I'm always open for suggestions. What are y'all reading?

Bad Mood Friday

I am in a terrible mood today. I've spent most of the day trying to come up with 7 quick takes but they were just coming off of as whiny and complaining. I was going for funny and I am pretty sure they fell far from that goal.

Here's hoping tomorrow is better day.

Sickly Valentine

Jack woke up with a 102.5 degree fever this morning. We weren't all that surprised because he spent all day yesterday with a fever. He was super fussy and all around miserable. I kept him home from Parents' Day Out (obvs) and took him to the doctor this afternoon. The verdict? Mystery disease. It's a virus of some sort. But who knows? Just keep pumping him full of Motrin and liquids and wait. I can't tell you how frustrated I was with this diagnosis. I was SURE it was strep or maybe another ear infection, but no. Nothing easily identifiable. And he is really, incredibly miserable and I just feel so bad that I can't fix it. Poor kid.

Needless to say, Alex and I had to nix our plans for a (not at all) romantic lunch date. Which would normally not be that big of a deal but I haven't eaten in a restaurant in 3 weeks, which is an ETERNITY for me and I was really, really, REALLY looking forward to EATING at a RESTAURANT with a WAITER. Someone was going to serve me and then take the plates away and I wasn't going to worry about any of it and I was even planning on ordering tea. TEA! Yes, this is the exciting kind of life I lead.

So we got take out Chinese and Icees for dinner. Jack is finally in bed, Alex is out getting some groceries and I'm blogging while watching season 1 of Bones on Netflix. Not very romantic. But that's okay.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Seven Quick Takes - IT SNOWED Edition

1. It snowed here in San Antonio last night. It wasn't much. What people up north would call a "dusting." But it might as well be a snowpocalypse here. Schools closed. Alex's work closed. All of our neighbors were outside taking pictures of their cars. It was adorable.

2. Here's a picture of our cars "covered" in snow. It could be closer but I wasn't going to put on actual shoes or anything and leave the apartment.


3. What is NOT adorable is that this "inclement" weather meant UPS wasn't running today which meant the delivery I was expecting didn't arrive. Argh.

4. Jack has been sick all week with a double ear infection. He's feeling much better now but he and I have been DYING to get out of the house. We ventured into the (legitimately freezing) cold weather yesterday only to find we were the only people at Gymboree. Neither one of us cared because WE LEFT THE HOUSE, HOORAY!

5. I can't get over how cheap it is to make your own household cleaners. I made a vinegar and water concoction this week. And I've got some baking soda just waiting to be used. And all of it cost less than 3 bucks. Sweetness.

6. I'm also thinking about using baking soda to make my own shampoo. I've been thinking about trying this for a while now but I keep chickening out and buying more shampoo. I'm not sure what my hold up is because we'd save a TON of money on toiletries if we'd stop using shampoo. (Well, if I stopped using shampoo. Alex has informed me that he won't be going down that particular hippy road with me.)

7. We are thinking of the braving the roads this evening so I can use the Half Price Books 20% off coupon. Cheap Books > Treacherous Roads

Seven Quick Takes - 1/28/11

1. My current favorite cheesy pop song is Bruno Mars' "Grenade." The video is so cheesy and overwrought! I LOVE IT.

2. Jack and I went on a playdate to a place called Mini Town this morning. It was a really neat place with a mini school, HEB (grocery store), living room, disco, salon, and a movie theater. They also had a train, a bouncy house, a giant sand box, and a small playground outside. And what did my kid want to do the entire time? Watch Wonder Pets in the movie theater. What are the chances that they would be playing WONDER PETS today? They are EVERYWHERE I GO. Back off, Ming Ming!

3. The movie theater had little kid-sized movie theater seats. I wanted to take one home with me. For some reason, everything is so much cuter when it's tiny. Why is that?

4. I've had 3 cups of coffee today. I'm drinking the 3rd one right now at 3:30. (I had a hankering for iced coffee.) I will regret this SO MUCH when I try to go to bed tonight.

5. I have succumbed to the ways of FlyLady. While I think her site is still horribly ugly and organized, she DOES have some good tips for getting your house organized and clean. I even bought a microfiber dusting glove at Target this week. (For ONE SINGLE DOLLAR whereas FlyLady wants TEN WHOLE ENTIRE DOLLARS for one on her site.) Plus, anything that promotes keeping a journal with lists has got my love.

6. I haven't scrapbooked a blessed thing this week, but I DID read 3 books. So yay! But they were all silly vampire books. So yay? My friend asked me today if I had read the parenting book I bought on Wednesday and I was all, "Uh priorities!? Vampires come FIRST."

7. We set up Jack's tent for him this week. And he wants NOTHING to do with it. I've tried to get him to go in with me twice. Alex even tried to scrunch himself in there to encourage Jack. We put Cubby in there. And...Jack got close enough to grab Cubby and then SHOT OUT of it like the tent was going to EAT him or something. Baby steps, I guess?

Award!

I fully intended to post this on Monday. But somehow it's Wednesday now? Not sure how that happened. The passage of time, I guess?

Anyway, Ashley nominated me for this Stylish Blogger Award. Hooray! Thank you, Ashley!

Here are the rules for the acceptance of the award:

1. Thank and link back to the person who awarded you the award.
2. Share 7 things about yourself.
3. Award 15 other bloggers.
4. Contact these bloggers and tell them about the award.

I'm not gonna lie to you. I don't know 15 people (personally) who blog. (I'm also one of those people who broke chain letters in elementary school.) But! Here are 7 things you may not know about me...

1. When I was in the 5th grade, I thought it was cool to say "Oh mylanta!" because DJ Tanner used to say that on Full House. I also once tried to answer the phone at my grandmother's house with, "Talk to me" because Uncle Jesse did. The person on the other end of the phone had NO idea what to say and I hung up because I was so embarrassed. So! Lesson learned there...no catch phrases from Full House!

2. I like werewolves better than vampires. You probably didn't know this because I just discovered this myself last night. I'm currently reading the 3rd Sookie Stackhouse novel and it is light on the vampire action and I am enjoying it SO MUCH MORE than the first two novels. I also preferred Jacob to Edward in Twilight, so I suppose I like my sexy beasts warm and hairy and not cold and undead. Come to think of it, I'm also a big Remus Lupin fan as well.

3. I sang Journey's "Don't Stop Believing" to Jack ALL THE TIME when he was a tiny baby. Even though it only occasionally calmed him down, I kept going back to it because it calmed ME down.

4. My first cup of coffee was at Cafe du Monde in the Esplanade Mall in Kenner, LA. I drank it with a straw because that's how my dad has to drink all of his drinks too.

5. I got my first pedicure when I was 29 years old. And it was only because it was my first Mother's Day gift from Reid. Which I waited to use until September of that year because we were going on our delayed Honeymoon cruise. It's because I don't like feet AT ALL. And I really don't like people touching my feet. But man, that pedicure was amazing and I have been hooked ever since.

6. I didn't know the awesomeness of cheese until I moved out on my own. My mom doesn't like cheese so we never had it in the house. It was never on sandwiches or burgers or anything else, for that matter. But now I know. Cheese is gooooood. And I appreciate it more since I didn't discover it until I was an adult.

7. I would really like some muffins right now.

I nominate Mrs. G, Christy, Jenny, Lana, and Mel. We cruised together and now we must blog together.

Wipe Out

I mentioned on Friday that I've ordered over 300 prints of Jack in the past month. I also bought 100 sheets of 4 x 6 photo paper yesterday at Staples. (Which I scored for $8.49 and they came with a $8.50 rebate. What what!?) It's all in an effort to complete Jack's baby book, put pictures in the two brag books I got for my baby shower back in February 2009, and maybe, just maybe scrapbook his first year of life. (In other news, I also decided to order my wedding album! From September 2007! Making my photographer dig through 300+ discs to find OUR wedding pictures!)

Since I'm not very smart, I ordered a random smattering of pictures from all throughout Jack's first year of life and then promptly mixed them all together. So now I have to go back and put them in order. Which is a lot harder than you might think. I fired up this here blog to see if it could help me with the order and lo and behold, I SUCKED at blogging when Jack was first born. In fact, I didn't post a single solitary thing in May 2009. And there are all of 4 posts in April. (He was born on April 3rd.) I never finished posting his birth story. I never explained the story of my incision bursting. I posted two pictures of him before he turned 2 months old. It's bad.

I felt guilty when I was away from Jack doing school stuff and then felt even MORE guilty when I was with him and couldn't comfort him. I would let anybody else hold him because I felt so disconnected and resentful of him. And I was embarrassed and scared and tired and confused. I needed help and had no idea what to do to get that help. I knew I SHOULDN'T be feeling those things but I didn't know how to NOT feel them. Ya know? No matter how hard I tried to convince myself otherwise, I always went back to those same dark places. It was like I was in a hole and couldn't get myself out of it. (Not a very good analogy, I know, but it's the closest I can come to describing it.)

Honestly, I've blocked a lot of it out because...well...who wants to remember that? But looking through these pictures and seeing my bloated, tired self reminded me of it all. And then the silence on my blog is very telling. I generally don't post when things aren't going well and there's a REALLY BIG HOLE at that time in the blog.

I wish I could go back in time and change it. If I could, I would go back and ENJOY the tiny child. I would take better care of him. I'd take better care of ME. God knows I would be a better wife. Why Alex didn't just let me pack up and leave, I do not know. It's weird because those few months were a giant ball of suck and I am so, so, so glad they're over. But at the same time, I wish I could go back in time so I could fix it.

I'm not really sure where I'm going with this. I don't have a nice, neat way of wrapping it all up. Because more often than not, depression doesn't have a happy, neat ending. I'm certainly not depressed now. And I do pretty well dealing with anxiety. But Jack is also 21 months old. And I'm just now ready to go back and document his first year of life. And I guess, more than anything, I wish I could go back and tell my lumpy, mascara stained self that it's gonna be alright.

Also, that iPhone was a REALLY good investment.

Seven Quick Takes

1. In my never ending quest to find awesome beverage containers, I asked for a Tervis Tumbler for Christmas. And I am happy to report that it is AWESOME. I highly recommend them. They keep your drink cold, don't sweat, and are super cute!

2. I am trying my hand at scrapbooking. My mom got me an album w/ stickers and paper last year for Christmas (as in 2009 Christmas) and I am just now trying to do something with it. So far...not good. I have no artistic vision. Or talent.

3. I've ordered over 300 pictures of Jack in the last month. Going overboard is my middle name.

4. Did I mention that I got a Keurig for Christmas? I can't remember. I don't think I did. So! Hey! I got a Keurig for Christmas! And I LOVE it! It's so nice to have my coffee ready in such a short amount of time. My one and only complaint is that my favorite travel mug doesn't fit under it.

5. I haven't read a single book yet this year. I am in a TV watching/crafting phase currently. But I need to step up my game in order to beat my record book count from last year. I've got 3 on my Kindle waiting to be read and Amazon gift cards just waiting to be spent. And yet I have no motivation.

6. Oh my gosh, I can't come up with 7 things. I can't even come up with 6 things. I barely came up with 5 things. My life is boring. Particularly the life parts that I choose to post about.

7. I do not miss snow days. AT ALL.

Craft Time!

I'm not sure what came over me a few weeks ago, but I decided I wanted to be crafty. Mrs. G shared a post on Google Reader about Do It Yourself Valentine's Wreath. And I promptly fell in love with this yarn wreath. I decided I wanted to make one for Valentine's Day. With my mom's help, I got all the supplies at Michael's.


I wound up only using the craft glue on the flowers and then bought a hot glue gun to actually attach the flowers to the wreath.

It took me a while to get the hang of wrapping the yarn around the wreath, but it wasn't too difficult. Except for the fact that I kept hitting myself into the face with the yarn. Here it is about half way through.



I used coffee cans and a salad plate as my template for the circles.



Here's one of the pink circles.



I cut out all of the circles and then made the weird crinkly edges to them.





I totally only made one of the flowers. My mom made the rest of them because I am a wuss.



Finished!!!



Here is it hanging on our door this morning.



Close up of the flowers.



Overall this was a SUPER easy craft and pretty darn cute, if I do say so myself.

Sadness

Oh man, I hope everyone's holidays were a million zillion times better than mine.

My beloved grandmother passed away on the 28th and I'm just so darn sad.

I feel like I should be posting pictures of Christmas morning and talking about our holiday festivities. But it was pretty somber this year and I just don't have it in me to upload pictures. But I promise Jack had a lovely Christmas and received many wonderful gifts.

My grandmother's funeral was on New Year's Eve, so we didn't really celebrate that night.

Jack and I had spent the last two weeks at my parents' house and we finally came home on Sunday. Somehow it is already Tuesday and I've only left the house once. I know I need to sack up and get back in the real world but I've given myself a pass on not being in fighting form yet. I alway struggle a little after the holidays, not to mention I always need at least a day of doing nothing before I can recover from a big road trip. So combining that with the loss of a loved one means I'm allowed to move a little slowly now, right? And I'm actually being somewhat productive today (Laundry! Picking up! Unpacking!), so it's not all doom and gloom around here.

But I'm still really, really sad.