Tuesday, August 18, 2009

In Which I Blather About My Tonsils


Holy cow, I HAVE MISSED YOU SO MUCH, INTERNET. I didn't realize how we really are like BFF. LIKE REALLY. And going almost two entire days without you is simply TOO MUCH TO ASK.

Where have I been? Well, I've been a little sick. I woke up Sunday morning with a sore throat. I summarily blew it off, but it kept getting worse throughout the day. That afternoon, after a GLORIOUS 3 hour nap (Hooray for super excited grandparents who LOVE! TO! BABYSIT!), I thought, "Self, why don't you check out your throat? See what the deal is." So I checked out my throat. And lo, it was BAD.

My tonsils were...not normal. Really, really not normal. Like, I'm kind of grossed out by you, not normal. There appeared to be many, many White Spots of Discontent all over my tonsils. So I did what any sane person would do and I called out to my mother to look at my gross tonsils. Because that is what mothers do. They look at gross things and tell you it's going to be okay. She took one look at them and immediately proclaimed, YOU HAVE TO GO TO THE DOCTOR. (My mom ALSO talks in ALL CAPS. It's genetic!)

So through some wrangling of insurances and the kindness of my old primary care physician, I got a doctor's appointment for Monday. I didn't get to meet with my old doctor, but with a new doctor to the practice. He was incredibly kind and concerned and professional. And then he looked at my tonsils.

"WOW...that's....impressive. I've never seen that much white stuff on tonsils before!"

Internet, I SHOCKED THE DOCTOR with my tonsils. AWESOME. I really wish I could take a picture of them for you because they are that impressive. However, that is 1) impossible and 2) very, very gross. So below is an artist's rendering of my tonsils. I have included a textbook perfect example of normal looking tonsils so you can compare them.

As you can see, the White Spots of Discontent have taken over my tonsils in the "BAD Tonsils" picture. And that really is how they look. The spots actually got together and formed a Circle of Discontent on my right tonsil. Which, THANKS GUYS.

So I'm on some antibiotics (that I had to pay FULL PRICE for because I am an IDIOT and forgot my prescription insurance card at home) and drinking a lot of fluids and being kept away from the internet. That last one isn't helping my throat, but did I mention that I missed y'all? BECAUSE I MISSED Y'ALL. I'm already feeling better and am anxious to have my normal, beautiful tonsils back.

The End.


AI said...

Did they really turn from red to blue?

Mel said...

Very talented artists redering.

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