My Craft

Confession time: I am not crafty. I may be crafty in the sense that I am reasonably intelligent and posses the ability to outwit someone else. But I am not crafty in the sense of being able to produce crafts. Specifically girly crafts. Specifically wedding invitations.

Here's the deal with the invites: I got them on sale at Hobby Lobby. If Lana is reading this, she just yelled an obscenity and then threw something at her computer screen. Yes, I went to the Hob Lob and gave them some of my hard earned money. I apologize, my friend.

Anyway, I bought these do-it-yourself invitations because they were fairly cute, and more importantly, they were half off. And as much as I mock my mother and Alex for being cheapskates, I am one as well. And when I saw the opportunity to save a huge hunk of money in the wedding budget, I dove at it.

But the problem is that I changed my mind about the invitations. I bought them the day after Alex and I got engaged. (Yes, the day after. My mom had me at the store at 9 am, the morning after. She is committed, folks.) And that was two months ago. As those two months wore on, I saw other invitations that were cuter and more "me" and I began to resent my already purchased invitations.

So I decided to modify them to my liking. Which is where the problem comes in. I have NO IDEA what I'm doing. I went back to the store-that-shall-not-be-named and purchased some totally gorgeous brown ribbon and decided to use those to tie on the invitations. The problem is that I didn't know how tie a ribbon. I mean, I know how to tie my shoes, so I figured that was all there was to it. WRONG. My bows were all wonky and lopsided and decidedly very un-wedding-invitation looking. So I had to look up ONLINE how to tie a bow. That's how non-crafty I am. I had to ask the internet to help me. Tie a bow. That's just embarassing.

So now I have 125 invitations to make. That's 125 cuts of ribbon. And 125 bows to tie. And 125 times for me to curse myself, Hobby Lobby, and the western tradition of marriage. I always told myself (and others) that I would just purchase plain, simple, non-bow-related invitations when I got married. I should have stuck to my guns.

And don't even get me started on how the stupid printer will not print the reply cards correctly. I can feel blood boiling just thinking about it.