Monday, June 12, 2006

I've got the fever!

Let’s talk about babies, shall we? I’ve never liked them. I’ve always been immune to their chubby cheeks and thighs, tiny toes, and big, wondering eyes. Usually, I see a kid and go, “Eh.” They’ve never been my cup of tea. Partially because I’m scared of breaking the small ones and partially because I’m annoyed by the older ones. And I’ve always felt like this....those tiny curls could not melt my cold, stone heart. I didn’t watch commercials and go, “What a cute kid!” Whenever I'm around children talking and screaming and running and whatever it is that children do, I get annoyed. I hate sitting by kids in restaurants because they're obnoxious. I want to tell them to stop moving around and get a life already. I’ve never been openly mean to them, don’t get me wrong. I’m not THAT evil. But I’ve never sought out children’s attention and pretty much ignored them when I saw them.

Until now.

I don’t know what it is. Perhaps it is the neverending string of pregnancies in the office. Perhaps it’s my biological clock finally starting to tick-tock. Perhaps my parents’ prayers have finally been answered. But I want BABIES. I want to smother little faces with kisses and tickle their bellies and goo goo and gah gah all over them. I want to buy tiny shoes and cute little onesies. I want to pack 20 pounds of extra baggage, just so a kid can go places with me. And it is FREAKING ME OUT.

What in the world? There is no good reason for this sudden infatuation I have with little ones. But now when I see kids....I’m sighing, y’all. SIGHING. I’m like, “Look at the cute kid! Isn’t she adorable?” And then I immediately begin dressing my imaginary kid with ruffles and bows and other things that she'll roll her eyes at when she gets older. I want curls! I want bangs! I want diapers for crying out loud. I think cheerios are cute and I think it’s fun to feed babies. I get excited when I see BGF’s nephew because he likes me and so then I do everything in my power to make that little boy smile ALL THE TIME. Gah!

And the worst part is, I can’t stop it. I can’t control it. It’s getting WORSE. Soon, I’m going to be wandering over to the baby section of Target, just to “browse.” I’m going to start tracking down strollers instead of running far, far away from them. I'm going to start enjoying the company of children! Nooooo! This can't be happenning!

But you know...wouldn't it be so cute if my kids had red hair?


Phil said...

Yup, yup – it’s been “no kids” for as long as I’ve known you. Interesting (although not surprising)change of heart for both you and Jenny. And red heads?? Humm…where to begin on this one…..

Leah said...

Dude, you know I feel your pain.

Redheads, eh?...