Friday, December 09, 2005

A Completely and Totally Happy Post in which No One Dies or Loses Their Job

My car was on "E" yesterday and the stupid snow hit early and I didn't think I could make it to the gas station since everyone was leaving work like crazy hoping to not get stranded here. So the line out to the main road was out the wazoo and traffic on 75 was moving at a snail's pace. So I rode home with BGF and left my car at work. It took us over an hour to get to my place and we had to take this old man (LOOONG story) out to dinner and it was just so cold and miserable and white. At least we went to Panera and sat by the fire and ate broccoli cheese soup.

So today, I left work around 11:30 to go get gas so I could drive to work tomorrow and also to wipe the 6 inches of snow off my car. I get to Speedway and my gas door thing is frozen shut. So I went inside and asked the manager to come help me. He was REALLY nice and went and got this de-ice spray stuff and worked with it and finally got it open. So I'm pumping my gas and this dude drives up to the pump next to me and he immediately gets out of his gigantic stalker/rapist van and is like, "I hear it's going to warm up." (I'm assuming he said this because I was standing there by the gas pump looking mightily miserable in my pink snowflake toboggan.) And I laughed because I knew it was a joke, but he finished it with the punch line of "...in 5 months!" And I was like, "Whatever, he's kinda cute. Maybe he'll flirt with me!" And then he looks at the pathetic blue pile of junk that is my car and says, "Oooooorrrrrrshuuuuuuta? How do you say that!?" (I still have my OBU window sticker on the back of my car) and I'm like, "It's Wash-i-ta." And he was like, "Where is that at!?" And I told him "Arkansas. Which is where I went to school." And he asked me what brings me to Ohio and I tell him I work down the street at [totally censored company name here] and we [totally censored what goes on at said company]. And then he has to go inside because all the pumps are pre-pay now and I am going inside at the same time because I want coffee seriously badly. And he's like, "Well, welcome to Ohio." and I felt bad because I still have my Louisiana license plate on my car and that OBU sticker, combined with the fact that I look like I'm 18 and this guy thought I was just out of school and am up in Ohio for the first winter! So when he asked how long I had lived up here, I lied and said "2 years" when really it's been 3 1/2. And so I figured that was it and I was very proud of myself for socializing.

So I go back outside with my White Chocolate Caramel Cappuccino goodness firmly in hand and dude stops me. And he's like, "You seem to be a nice person with good character and outgoing...(and other complimentary things I don't remember)." And I kinda laughed because I always laugh when someone calls me outgoing because really I'm still a terrified 13 year old and I can't fathom the fact that people might see me as otherwise. And I was also weirded out by this guy and was like, "Is he a Mormon? Is he going to try and witness?" And then he said, "I run a couple of small businesses..." and I sorta tuned out because I was like, "I CAN'T BELIEVE HE'S A SALESMAN AND BEEN TRYING TO WORK ME OVER THIS ENTIRE TIME." But I caught stuff about internet and something and Barnes and Noble and something and would I be interested in making some extra money on the side? And I was like, "Um, maybe?" because I'm a total pushover and couldn't say no and so he gave me his card and I gave him my cell phone number and now I have to block him when he tries to call me so we will never ever ever "get together and chat for about 20 minutes." But he was cute and the last time I talked to a cute boy was approximately 1985 so back off about me giving my cell phone number to a complete and total stranger who drives a rape van!

2 comments:

Jodi said...

ROFLOL! You are tooo funny! No more talking to strangers!

Gina Marie said...

why would you not want to have a chat with a cute boy for about 20mins?? cute boys are good!