Wednesday, March 25, 2009

People who are better bloggers than me

Jonniker and Emily have both written posts in the last two days that have struck a cord with me and I just had to share them.

Jonniker talks about her pregnancy and it's like she went inside my brain and wrote the post for me. Except I haven't had my baby yet in order to say it will all be worth it. I sent the link to Alex whose immediate reaction was, "Wow. This sounds familiar." It's so refreshing to hear someone else who has been so miserable during pregnancy like I have been. (For the record, I have not cried EVERY SINGLE DAY during my pregnancy. I did not cry yesterday, I am pretty sure. So that is at least one day I haven't cried in the past 9 months. Yay?) It was also nice to hear that sleep can be better when you're not pregnant, even if there is a screaming newborn next to your bed. I can't tell you how many times I have wanted to yell, 'Shut up! Shut up! SHUT UP!' to people who have told me to sleep now because you won't when the baby gets here. Because seriously? It's not like I'm NOT SLEEPING FOR FUN. I am miserable and in pain and restless. So yeah, I don't have to get up for multiple feedings and soothings and diaper changes in the night. But I am currently having to get up to pee multiple times a night, plus I cannot roll over without having to count to three and crying in pain. I'll take the screaming newborn any day of the week if it means I can flop into bed and roll over like I used to. Honestly? At this point, I can't even remember what it was like to be not pregnant. I remember during those truly horrible first months that I thought I had ruined my life and was so incredibly angry at myself and Alex for getting pregnant. I couldn't imagine ever feeling okay again. I was sure, absolutely CERTAIN, that I was going to be sick for the rest of my life. The sickness has gotten better, but the limitations of pregnancy are still there and I still feel like I will never ever be ME again. That is a tough pill to swallow, my friends, and there have been many, many crying fits of rage as a result. And Jonniker pretty much said all of that, but better, and it's just so nice to know that you're not alone. That there's hope. That no really, I am still me and I'll feel like me SOON.

Well! That was a lot more than I meant to say!

Emily's post is completely different. She talks about how her husband likes to "teach a lesson" while driving. And y'all, I seriously thought I had married the only man in the world who did this. BUT I AM NOT. Other people's husbands do it too! I can't tell you how many fights Alex and I have gotten into because of his driving. He insists he's "teaching a lesson." I insist that he is "pissing off a potential crazy person." And yet he continues to insist that he is the better driver. :sigh: Boys.

In other news, I am no where near giving birth. There is nothing more disheartening than to feel like your private bits are being assaulted only to learn you are a measly 1.5 cm dilated. The doctor told me to go ahead and make an appointment Monday to see my regular doc who could discuss induction options with me. I'm not surprised by any of this, but still. Not what you want to hear, especially when she leaves with you the parting words of, "You'll probably experience some spotting after the exam." THANKS FOR HURTING ME FOR NOTHING.

1 comment:

jonniker said...

If it's any consolation (and it won't be, for MAN I feel you), I wasn't dilated AT ALL. No, seriously, A FINGERTIP ONLY -- and my water broke, and I went into labor (sort of) two days later.

The other thing about post-pregnancy sleep is that you actually like your baby, so it's not as miserable as it could be. Yes, you're tired, but dude, there's a BABY. YAY.