Tuesday, December 01, 2009

Uh, no.

I am pretty sure this is not a joke.

Guys, let me go ahead and tell you now that a SURPRISE PAP SMEAR is NOT what the woman in your life wants for Christmas. I don't care how close you are to that woman. Your wife will kill you. Possibly make you sleep on the couch FOR ALL ETERNITY. Your mom will be baffled and offended. Your sister will be squicked out. Your friends will disown you. DON'T DO IT.

And how creepy is it that he's like...give her the gift that SANTA can't give. What? First of all, a pap smear is not a GIFT. It is a necessary evil. Second of all, if SANTA can't give that gift, then NEITHER CAN YOU. I am pretty sure Santa could indeed deliver a gift certificate good for one (1) free pap smear! But Santa is NOT STUPID. Is he implying that Santa cannot perform the pap smear? Because, guess what, NEITHER CAN YOU, BUDDY. Just...no. NO!

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for women getting checked out and taking care of themselves, but not as Christmas gifts. If Alex gave me a pap smear for Christmas, I can GUARANTEE you that he'd be getting a prostate exam for his birthday. GUARANTEE.

**I found this at NPR's pop culture blog.


AI said...

Darn it. Back to square one for Christmas.

Jodi said...


I dare someone to give me a pap smear for Christmas. Double dare.

Some people have weird ideas.