Thankful It's Over

Thanksgiving was less than thrilling this year. Apparently I am the fat, ugly, smelly cousin who no one wants to hang out with. So instead of getting to sit on the couch and enjoy such classic movies as Bring It On with my cousins, they all fought over who had to sit next to me. And not in the "I want to sit by her." "No I want to sit by her!" kind of fighting. They REFUSED to sit NEXT to me. I thought the girl who was unlucky enough to arrive last was going to die from all the huffing and puffing and sighing and rolling of the eyes. And no, they didn't even have the decency to hide it. Children.

My parents also took Thanksgiving Day to tell me that my dad is losing his job. He's being forced to retire early because of budget cuts from Hurricane Katrina. Yep, the 59-year-old handicapped man who has been a chaplain at the wretched prison for 15 years is being let go. My dad thinks it's more personal than that because the warden basically hates him, but whatever. The point is that my parents are getting heartily screwed over in this deal. And if a certain bill passes in the legislature, then he'll be forced to leave next month at only half the normal retirement pay. And my parents have been planning on my dad retiring when he was 65. Soooo.....how are they going to make house payments? I don't know. It makes me so angry and so sad that I can't hardly stand it. I feel so bad for my father because he's poured his heart and soul into his job and now for it to end like this...it just feels so wrong.

So the "Mom Cry Count" was up to 5 by the time I left and my Dad was depressed the whole time. It was just rough overall. I knew it was going to be bad without Grandpa there, but geez louise, I wasn't expecting THAT. My aunt seemed to be doing okay because she refused to sit down and think the entire time. Ha! Good to know that my denial tendencies run in the family.

So in honor of a sucky Thanksgiving Day and in an attempt to lighten things up on this here blog, I've decided to steal from Myles and make an Un-Thankful List.

Un-Thankful 2005
1) Hurricane Katrina
2) Death
3) Errant hairs on my chin
4) Tom Cruise
5) Coldplay
6) Spam (the food and the internet variety)
7) Gnats
8) Luke's long-lost daughter on Gilmore Girls
9) Snow
10) Screaming babies

And just for good measure:

Thankful 2005
1) My family (the ones that sit by me, of course)
2) BGF
3) Anne
4) DVR
5) Parsnip (my dog, not the veggie)
6) E-mails from old friends
7) Yogurt Burst Cheerios (Strawberry)
8) The Dixie Chicks
9) Reese's chocolate dipped peanut butter cookies
10) iTunes

Now, before I let you think that the holiday was all doom and gloom, the good news is that Friday was better. My mom, aunt and I went shopping and I got some really cute pink sweaters that will match my pink and grey Roos in an adorably, make-you-throw-up-because-I-match-so-well kind of way. I'll have to wait till Christmas until I get them because my mom footed the bill, but I'm okay waiting. It's always nice to know you've got good presents waiting for you under the tree. I also got to facilitate my aunt and mother's very first trip to Olive Garden. And boy, do they love the salad and breadsticks. They ate TWO BOWLS of salad and 4 helpings of breadsticks. Plus their entrees. I'm not kidding. How anyone in my family does not weight 300 pounds is beyond me.

Updating at Last

Here's my grandpa from Thanksgiving last year. Isn't he just so cute? That smile never went away, even after all of his heartache.

Thanks to everyone for your kind words and prayers. They were much appreciated by me and my family. The wake and funeral were difficult and weird and sad. It made me realize how much Grandpa had changed over the past few years. It awakened all those memories of when I was a kid and he'd do magic tricks and take me to the park and buy me candy. He loved toy stores as much as I did. He made the best white gravy I've ever had and everytime I came to visit, he'd fix them with rolls because I'm a freak and like rolls and gravy for breakfast. Nobody has ever been able to fix a breakfast as good he could. He was also obsessed with chocolate covered cherries. We're talking serious love here, people. So serious that one year we spent the entire morning after Thanksgiving buying boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes of chocolate covered cherries at the dollar store because they were on sale. And we all had to make separate purchases because there was a limit. He froze half of what we bought, so he could eat them year round. He and Grandma used to buy cans of food every time it was sale and hide it under the beds in the guest bedroom in case of an earthquake or another depression. He let me drive his Buick after he bought it and my mom nearly had a mental breakdown, but he was calm as could be. He didn't understand why I'd ever pierce my ears because it was too much adornment. He'd quote practically any verse from the King James Version of the Bible faster than you can say "Translated in 1611!" He would push on the other end of the seesaw, because he felt bad I didn't have a friend to play with. He always gave me money when I came to visit because I was "the favorite" and always told me to never tell Grandma. I miss him.

This was also a good opportunity to realize that I'm pretty sure I'm a genetic clone of my mother and if one more person says I look just like her, I might just have to shoot them.

Another shocking revelation: my (extended) family can be so damn embarassing. One of my cousins showed up to the wake in the tightest jeans known to man. They were so tight, I'm pretty sure she wasn't breathing. And that permanent wedgie? Didn't look comfortable. And her sister wore "dress" shorts with this weird maroon vest-type top and black stockings. Not flattering. At all. These are my first cousins, people. This is their grandfather, who they spent lots more time with since they lived in the same town...at one point living on the SAME PROPERTY. Neither showed for the funeral because they're ungrateful wenches who have no sense of love or honor for their family. I was always jealous of them because they got to see Grandpa all the time and now that he's gone, they don't have the decency to show up and socialize and dress appropriately? My only comfort is that I'm pretty sure my Grandpa wouldn't have been surprised.

Final realization: I need to change things. I refuse to die with no friends or family around me. I refuse to die miserable and alone. I refuse to die and have only bullshit said at my funeral. I want the minister to speak highly of me because I lived a life worth living. I want people to be be glad my life was full. I want more than what I have now.

Slipped Away

My grandfather passed away this morning. I was going to post a picture of him, but I started crying looking at them, so we'll wait on that. My mom is obviously really torn up. If you're a praying kind of person, please do so for my family. I'm on my way to work now to figure out how much I can miss so I can be with my family.

Thanksgiving a Month Early

This is what I had today. A bad day. One of those, "Can I PLEASE get a break!?" kind of days. And those days suck A LOT. But they are often made better by my wonderful friends. And my dear friend Gina sent me a spectacular Happy Halloween/Happy REALLY Late Birthday package. Hooray! I needed something to cheer me up and this did the trick. The above Grumpy Bear socks just so happened to be my object of envy at Saturday night's Halloween party, so that was really weird and coincidental and perfect. I also received:


What a cool purse! With my initials! It's like she knew I was looking to invest in a new everyday brown purse. (I also want you to know that I only picked this picture because it has both my iPod and my iTunes screen up. I'm a geek, I know.)


At first, I thought this was a direct shout out to my profile, but then I realized that she had purchased this BEFORE she had read said profile. That's a sign of a good friend, people.

I'm glad there are people in my life who can force me to think sappy/happy thoughts after a craptastic day. I am a lucky girl. Thank you Gina.