Won't you be my Valentine?

Today is Valentine's Day. And yes, I am single. I was resolved to write a really positive and happy post and not be, "Woe is me for not having someone send me expensive chocolates and flowers and stuffed animals holding hearts with sayings like, 'I Love You' and 'I go ape for you!'" But really, it's VALENTINE'S DAY, y'all. I love Valentine's Day more than life itself and I am ALONE. I was doing pretty well until I started seeing the flowers appearing in the office and then the lack of flowers on my desk became glaringly obvious and what if I'm going to be like that PostSecret this week that goes 20 years without a valentine? So in the spirit of love, please allow me two seconds to wallow in my self-pity.

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Wallow managed.

Thanks.

So to celebrate this momentous day of no pink and red balloons, Anne and I went to Applebee's. We figured it wasn't too date friendly, so we'd be able to get in no problem. Which we were right about, by the way. The parking lot had plenty of empty spaces. Once we entered, it became really obvious that Applebee's is the family Valentine restaurant because most of the couples there had chidlren with them. And we were lucky enough to sit by this little boy who was FASCINATED by anything but his family. He kept turning around and just staring at me and breathing near my neck. It was slightly gross. I was also very grateful he chose to hack up his dinner on his parents' table and not mine.

The problem with tonight's Applebee's visit was that we didn't get food. For forty minutes. Yes, we sat at our table for 40 minutes with zero food. Our waitress came by a couple of times and gave us refills and kept assuring us the food was coming. Little did she know that she could have probably cut off of one of Anne's limbs and we wouldn't have said anything, because neither one of us would have wanted to bother anyone. So even though I started getting grumpy around minute 34, I kept my complaints confined to our table...and to the little boy hovered over the table, since at the point he was a permanent fixture. The food finally came and the manager right behind it apologizing for the crappiness of service. Apparently the kitchen lost our ticket and so our orders were just completely missed. He was very kind and apologetic and then said the most magical words ever, "So tonight's dinner is on me."

Anne and I could barely contain our glee when he left. Poor guy, he had no idea that we never ever would have complained, nor would it deter us from eating at Applebee's. So he kind of wasted his "Please let this pacify you" card, but I'm okay with that. Because that's the best valentine's gift he could have given me. Free steak and shrimp with a blue ribbon brownie. Mmmm-mmm good. Now that, my friends, is true love.