Class of '98

Alex's friends got married this weekend and I was excited to not only hang out with new people, but also dress up. I haven't had the opportunity to get all girly in a while and so it was with much anticipation (and money) that I purchased the perfect dress, shoes, and jewelry. And I do mean perfect. This dress even made my boobs look big. And that, my friends, is a sign of a good dress.

So I decided to buy all new jewelry to go with the boob-enhancing dress and found myself to JC Penney's Thursday night desperately trying to find something that fit my budget and what I had envisioned. Unfortunately, I was at the mall as a last resort after both Kohl's and Target had let me down. (I know! Kohl's! And Target! Abandoning me in my time of need!) So I was more than a little frustrated by the time I went to check out with what I hoped was the perfect jewelry. (Did I mention that I also had to return a dress? Because I did. And I had to stand in line behind not one, but two obnoxious women who, apparently, live at JC Penney's and spend all of their money there. Who does that? Seriously? Who does that??)

I walk up to the counter, after searching high and low for a JC Penney employee (it was almost closing time at this point, so everyone was hiding...which I don't blame them for at all. I remember when I worked at the movie theater in high school, I would send threatening looks to any passerby who looked like they might even be THINKING about buying some popcorn.) Where was I?

Oh yeah, so I plop down my jewelry in a sigh of relief and the lady looks at me and says, "Let me guess. Homecoming?"

Homecoming. A high school dance. Me. I'm 26 years old. I haven't been to Homecoming in 10 years. Literally.

I actually recovered really well and just said that I had a wedding this weekend. She looked a little old and I do look a little young for my age and I was just in a t-shirt and jeans. So I let it slide, though it did irk me a bit.

Fast forward to Saturday. The ceremony has already occured and Alex and I had to stop and put gas in my car before we went to the reception. I realized that I had forgotten chapstick, which is the same thing as forgetting oxygen for me. I ran inside (in my perfect dress with the exceptional cleavage) to purchase said lip balm. I walk up to the counter, place the chapstick before the lovely gas attendant and he says, "Oh? Is it homecoming tonight?"

Y'ALL. I AM TWENTY-SIX (26) YEARS OLD. THAT IS THE YEAR AFTER 25. I HAVEN'T BEEN IN HIGH SCHOOL FOR EIGHT (8) YEARS. SERIOUSLY. I MOVED OUT OF MY PARENTS HOUSE WHEN I TURNED 18 AND HAVEN'T BEEN BACK AND YET COMPLETE AND TOTAL STRANGERS THINK I SHOULD BE GOING TO FREAKING HOMECOMING.

Oy.